Breath of Life
by littlerichellemead
Summary: During the witch hunt of 1645, the Mazur royal family is cursed by a powerful witch. Overthrown by their own people, the Mazurs are forced to flee. Searching for centuries, Rose stumbles upon a hunter, who will either help her reunite with her loved ones or put a stake through her heart. Rated T for language. Romitri. (Previously titled Cosmic Love.) DISCONTINUED.
1. Prologue

**Breath of Life**

Prologue: Memories

I remember long and empty corridors. Giant bay windows allow sunlight and moonlight through illuminating the lonely halls lined by paintings of our royal family. I remember warm hands comforting me and lips caressing mine. I remember extravagant balls and beautiful, expensive gowns twirling to the sound of violins and harpsichords. I remember the laughter and joy erupting from my lips as I frolicked through the castle grounds hand in hand with my partner in crime. I also remember the torches, the enraged crowd demanding justice. I remember the smell of burnt flesh followed by the screams of our people. I remember the life slowly drained from my body, and the sticky warm liquid on my fingertips. All these memories haunt me and whisper in my ear of curses as I hide in the shadows searching for what's been taken from me. My humanity.

" _Blood stained hands_ _  
_ _Expelled you from your lands_ _  
_ _Insulted the witch_ _  
_ _Now you get your wish_ _  
_ _Beware of the child_ _  
_ _By her own people exiled_ _  
_ _Born under the Sun and the Moon_ _  
Will end this curse soon  
_ _Broken with her own blood_ "


	2. Cursed

Chapter One: Cursed

 _1645_

It was a dark time. A time of fear and doubt. A time where everyone could be guilty of witchcraft punishable by death. My family ruled under these hard times in Istanbul. The king and my father, Ibrahim Mazur, ruled with an iron fist. It was because of him our family remained in power for so long. He was ruthless with his enemies defeating them in battle with a mighty army, and silencing any whispers of rebellion. But how could he defeat an enemy that hid in the shadows? An enemy with no soul and deals with the devil? The answer should have been simple only it was not.

Lissa and I walked through the gardens my hand interlaced through her arm as my guard, Mason, followed closely behind. The sun was high in the sky and a slight breeze ruffled my curled locks. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warm rays taking advantage of every second I could get of freedom. As soon as the sun began to sink, my father's law went into effect. Anyone seen out after dusk will be questioned and possibly charged with the crime of witchcraft. Our sensational balls had stopped when the whispers of witches spread through our lands. Tales of witches who could change shape, kill with one look, and ate children under the moonlight quickly spread until the stories reached my father's ears. Afraid, always afraid, of a challenge, he took action enacting a curfew. All Lissa and I had now was our moments out in the sun.

With my lessons on etiquette and how to rule, my free time was always too short. I had to make these moments count. I let go of Lissa's arm and stepped closer to our rose bushes. A single wilting white rose caught my attention. My fingertips grazed the dying petals wondering how I missed it. I hated every second of my princess status. I could never be what Lissa could. I could never be free. Free to choose my own path, to marry whoever I wanted, to travel the world and meet people. As the only child of King Mazur, I was expected to rule when my father died. The prospect of a woman ruling was not approved by our people or our council. However, when my mother gave birth to me, there were complications. My whole birth was a complication. A child born under a strange phenomenon no one had seen before. It had been an omen. The midwife had said my mother would never have another child again. My parents had been devastated, but eighteen years had been enough to help them accept me as the heiress to the throne.

Still, I was not too happy with my fate. I arose with the sun to begin my lessons on how to be a wife, how to be a princess and a queen, and how to be perfect. One of my duties was to tend to the garden. Image was everything. A beautiful garden, a great castle, a perfect princess. Plucking the white rose, a thorn pricked my finger. I hissed at the pain, and Mason instinctively rushed forward at my sound of distress.

"Your Highness," Mason stood next to me tense and ready to strike. "Are you alright?"

I rolled my eyes at his concern as I put the bleeding finger to my mouth. "Fine. Stand down, Mason."

"What happened?" Lissa looked over my shoulder and gasped. "Rose! You are bleeding. Come. Let us take you to the nurse."

"It is nothing," I shook my head and resumed by walking and looked at the drop of blood on my finger. "Here it is. The precious blood of the Mazurs. Chosen by God to rule Istanbul. You would think we might have different blood considering how we are above everyone. What do you think, Liss?" I turned to my companion offering the rose to her. "Let us compare our blood. I want to see how different you and I are."

Lissa sighed and took my hand interlacing it through her arm again. "You are acting awfully strange today, Your Highness."

I shrugged and pulled on the wilting petals. "I assure you. I do not know what you mean, Lissa."

"You have been awfully quiet and your rambling about blood… It is eerie. Unlike you."

"You mean I do not brood often?" I laughed trying to lighten the conversation.

"Oh, you do," Lissa smiled but quickly turned somber. "I do not know. There is something different about you."

I sighed. "I had a strange dream."

"Oh?" Lissa stopped walking and steered us toward a marble bench near the tulips, our most famous flower. "Tell me about it. Was it about a certain prince?"

"No," I scoffed very unlady like. "It was not about Prince Zeklos. I would rather die than marry him."

"Your Highness," Mason chastised shaking his head as he stood near us. "You should not say such things."

"I only say the truth, Mason," I sighed once more tossing the dead rose aside. "I would make a deal with a witch to get away from this life."

"Rose!" Lissa looked around alarmingly searching for intruders. "I understand you hate the prospect of marrying without love, but you must choose your words carefully. This is not the time to make such playful comments. You could get in trouble."

"I know," I looked up at the sky. The sun was slowly sinking. Our free time was done.

"Tell me about your dream," Lissa steered the topic back to lighter conversations.

"I was on top of a castle with the weaves of the ocean crashing below me, and the smell of salt in the air. The breeze tousled my hair, and I wore a beautiful white gown. On the horizon, the sun was slowly rising, and I stretched out my arms like a bird." Closing my eyes, I stood up and mimicked what I did in my dream. "Then, I let go."

"You let go?" Lissa murmured a concerned frown forming on her beautiful face.

"I let go, Liss. I never felt so free. I just fell and sunk into the ocean. The waves welcomed me warmly as one of their own. It was glorious." I sat back and down and took her hands in mine as I began to recall the rest of the dream. "It was also terrifying. A voice screamed my name. There was so much pain in that voice, and I almost wanted to give up my freedom to comfort that voice. It was too late. I cannot stop hearing that voice. In fact, I want to hear it again."

"Your Higness," Lissa began in hushed and urgent whispers. "Rose, you know I love you. I am grateful you took me in from the streets after my family died. It is because of that debt that I must warn you never to speak of this again. With anyone. Not even me. Your father's enemies are always listening. Hearing voices and dreaming of suicide is not good for a future queen."

"I know," I chuckled humorlessly. "I thought… That voice loved me. I could feel it, and I want to feel it again."

"I know, Rose," Lissa gave me a sad smile and pulled me for a hug. "I know."

We spoke no more of my dream or the voice. Lissa was right. I should not speak of my strange dream out loud to anyone. Even if I trusted Lissa and Mason with my life, the walls had ears. Anyone attempting to overthrow my father could use me. They could accuse me of witchcraft. These were dangerous times, and they only deteriorated further.

As soon as the sun went down, Lissa and I were called for dinner with my family. Like always, dinner was a grand event. We sat in the dining hall in a large table made of marble. A great feast was laid before us as we sat miles apart from each other. My father was at the head of the table, naturally. To his right was my mother, Queen Janine. Despite his front of strong and ruthless leader, I knew my father loved my mother very much. They had met during war times. She was a princess of a far away land. As allies, my father and my mother's father became close. Eventually, my grandfather gave my mother's hand in marriage to my father. It had been an arranged marriage. My mother, however, used her tale to convince me arranged marriages are not terrible ideas. She said for her, it had been love at first sight. As for my father, he melted at the sight of her.

They loved me too. I was their child after all. However, I could tell they were disappointed I had not been born a man. I wished they expressed their love for me more often. They were so busy grooming me to be queen; they seemed to have forgotten I was their daughter first. To my father's left sat Pavel, captain of our Royal Guard and my father's most trusted ally. Next to my mother, but far away, I sat with Lissa close to me. Lissa had been my heaven sent. My most fervent prayer answered. I had wanted a companion for so long. Since I could understand what I had done to my mother, I prayed God would give Mother a second chance at having a son and give me a companion to fill my lonely existence. God did not answer as I expected, but nonetheless, I was grateful He answered at all.

Lissa's parents had died of a sickness that miraculously spared her. She walked the streets alone starving and dying. Returning from one of our travels to nearby allies, I caught a glimpse of Lissa's mud covered mane and almost skeletal form. I made our carriage stop despite my guard's protest. I approached Lissa and gave her my hand. She hesitated before taking it. When we arrived at the palace, we gave her food, a bath, and warm clothes. I pleaded and begged my parents to allow her to stay as my handmaiden. Lissa's loving nature and bright jade eyes won my parents approval to let her stay.

With her by my side, my lonely days were over. If only I could find a man to love, and he love me not my title, my life would be complete. As my parents and Pavel spoke amongst themselves, Lissa and I conversed about a new shipment of silks coming to the bazaar soon. Suddenly, the doors to the dining hall opened. A tall man entered wearing simple clothing and his hair long almost to his collarbone. I had seen him a couple of times around the castle speaking with my father and Pavel. I knew he came from a distant land though not as distant as my mother's. He had yet to share dinner with us, and the sight of a plate set up in front of me signaled he had somehow earned my father's trust.

"I apologize for my tardiness, Your Majesty," his voice was thick with a strange yet beautiful accent as he bowed to my father and mother. "I seem to still be getting lost in your immense and grand castle."

"Of course," my father nodded signaling with his hand to the chair opposite from me. "Have a seat, Lord Belikov."

"Lord Belikov," my mother began with a pleasant smile. "May I introduce my daughter, Princess Rosemarie."

"Charmed to meet you, Your Royal Highness," Lord Belikov bowed his head. "I am Luka Belikov."

"Charmed," I replied nodding my head and briefly meeting Lissa's eyes. With her napkin, she hid a mischievous smile. Undoubtedly, we would speak of Lord Belikov's beauty into the late hours of the night. He was beautiful. With unusually long locks that begged me to run my fingers through it. His eyes were a warm brown and a small smile seemed eternally etched to his lips. "This is my handmaiden, Vasilisa Dragomir."

"Pleasure," Lissa bowed her head.

"Likewise, milady," he replied though his eyes were glued to mine.

"Lord Belikov," my father called from the head of the table demanding the attention of our guest. With another smile directed towards me, Lord Belikov turned to his gracious host. "I hope you are enjoying your stay?"

"Yes, Your Majesty," Luka beamed giving my father his undivided attention though not meeting his eyes for fear of insulting the monarch. Only royalty was allowed to meet the king's eyes, which told me Lord Belikov was not a prince or a duke. He was just a person, and that made him all the more interesting. "I had never seen a more beautiful land and met more gracious people."

My father smiled his ego rightfully stroked. "And you will not find that anywhere else, Lord Belikov. I am sure you must be saddened to be returning to Russia."

"Russia?" I mouthed to Lissa, who almost choked on her wine. We had heard tales of Russia. A mighty empire rapidly rising due to the strength of its people and the almost brutal army at their disposal. I inspected Luka as they continued to speak. He did not look like he could hurt a fly. He was tall and confident, but he did not look threatening. I wondered what his story was and wished my father would steer the conversation in that direction instead of speaking of alliance between us and Russia. I sighed wondering when it would be my turn to engage in such boring conversations.

"Are you bored, Rosemarie?" My mother turned to me at the sound of my sigh, which I had not realized had been loud enough to draw attention. "Do you wish to retire to your bed chamber?"

I hesitated. The conversation did not particularly interest me, but the man did. "I apologize, Mother."

"It is my fault, Your Highness," Luka bowed apologetically. "I wish I was more interesting, but alas, I am a simple diplomat. All I have to offer are talks of treaties and arrangements."

"No need to apologize, Lord Belikov," I blushed feeling guilty for making him feel that way and having his eyes on me the whole time he spoke. "I was simply wistfully wondering when I could travel to such faraway lands and see what you have seen."

Luka smiled and nodded appreciatively at my sense of adventure. I wondered if he had met many princesses. "I would be happy to be your guide, Your Highness."

"Absolutely not," my father turned to give me a hard look which told me to be silent. "Rosemarie will marry Prince Zeklos. I am afraid the only adventure she will be having will be taking the throne with Prince Zeklos at her side."

Lissa grabbed my hand under the table and squeezed tightly to give me support. My union with Prince Jesse Zeklos, the crown prince of Greece, had been discussed many times, but nothing had been set in stone. Perhaps it had been for a while. My parents must have thought it was not important to make me aware. Suddenly, all interest in the man in front me disappeared as did my appetite, which was strange. My mother always remarked I ate like a commoner.

"May I be excused?" I pulled my hand away from Lissa and turned to my mother. "You are correct, Mother. I tire of this conversation."

Without waiting to be dismissed, I pushed my chair back and gathered the skirt of my dress rushing as quickly as possible from the room before the tears spilled from my eyes. I heard the scrapping of chairs as Pavel, Lissa, and Luka rose to their feet for me. I did not dare glance back to see the pity in Lissa's eyes, the disapproval in my parents', and whatever Luka felt watching me run out of the dining room.

In moments when I needed to be alone, I walked the lonely, long hall of our ancestors. The portraits of every past king, queen, princess, duke and duchess lined the wall to my right. To my left, giant bay windows allowed the moonlight to stream in, illuminating my way and glistening in the tears rolling down my cheeks. My sobs echoed in the empty hall despite my best attempts at being silent. Life could be worse, I always knew. At least I was not out in the streets starving and cold. At least there was a roof over my head, clothes on my back, a warm bed, and I would never know true suffering. My only tragedy was my lack of freedom.

I turned at the sound of footsteps. I was ready to send Lissa away when I realized it was Luka. He strode purposefully towards me. I took a step back at his intensity, for I had never been looked at that way. It was terrifying and exhilarating. Before I could react, his arms were around me pulling me into a very inappropriate embrace. If my father or anyone from the royal guard saw this, they would have his head. But none of them were here. It was just Luka and me. So I allowed it. This was the only act of freedom I could allow myself. Even then, I had to hide.

"I am so sorry," Luka murmured into my hair. "I cannot imagine how hard it must be for you, Your Highness. An arranged marriage must not be easy for you."

"Rose," I whispered putting my hands on his back. "You may call me Rose."

"Rose," he stepped back and pushed a loose strand of hair out of my face. He caressed my cheeks, and I breathed hard. I was trembling in his arms afraid at being caught this way with a commoner. My heart was pounding in my chest anticipating his next move. "Beautiful Rose, you deserve all the happiness."

The way he said my name with his foreign accent made my knees feel weak; made all of me feel weak. So when he brushed his lips against mine, I could not and would not stop him. I allowed him to caress my lips with his gently. Suddenly, a commotion tore the moment apart. I jumped away from him expecting the worst. An army coming to take him away, to execute him for touching the princess. But the army did not come for him. It came for us.

Outside the castle, a crowd formed carrying torches, pitchforks, and knives. I rushed to Lissa's side and avoided eye contact with Luka, who arrived a few seconds after me. My father had opened the castle's doors and stood tall demanding order while the Royal Guard formed a line keeping my father safe from the angry crowd, who chanted justice.

"What is the meaning of this?" My father bellowed over the crowd's incessant chanting. "My subjects breaking my law? You know better than to be out at nightfall. Night is the time evil comes out to play. Return to your homes before I throw all of you in the dungeon!"

"Your Majesty," a man stepped forward from the crowd. "We are here to demand justice. We have captured a witch stealing blood from my cows. Burn the witch or burn with her!"

My father turned to meet my mother's eyes briefly. She nodded after a million secret messages passed between them. My father cleared his throat and raised his hand to silence the crowd. "Bring the accused forward."

Through the crowd, a woman with blonde hair was forced to kneel down in front of my father. Her face was beginning to turn purple due to the fists of the angered mob. Her feet were bare and covered in mud, and her hands were covered in blood. My father glared down at her.

"Tatiana," he said her name through gritted teeth. "I would have never expected this from you."

"You should have," Tatiana turned to my mother. "How else do you think your queen survived?"

The crowd whispered and turned to fearfully look at my mother, who was frozen in shock. Everyone knew the Queen's difficult delivery almost killed her. No one questioned my mother's survival especially when they heard I left her barren. It had been the price my mother had to pay to live.

"How do you think she survived after losing so much blood?" Tatiana continued when my father said nothing. "I saved her. Not your God. Not your prayers. Me! This is how you all thank me? I have saved your wives and children countless times. You dare insult me?"

"You are a witch!" My father shouted regaining his voice and trembling with anger. "How do you expect us to repay you for using us in your nefarious rituals?"

"Nefarious?" Tatiana threw her head back and laughed. "You have not seen nefarious. Harm me in any way, and you will see just what I am capable of."

"Burn the witch!" The crowd began to chant stomping their feet.

My mother turned away from the crowd and went inside unable to handle Tatiana's confession. Lissa pulled on my arm trying to get away from this madness. She knew what was coming. My father knew what was coming. Tatiana knew what was coming. I turned to meet Luka's eyes. The smile on his lips was long gone, and his eyes showed no playfulness or intensity. There was fear in them. He mouthed something at me, but I turned away. I was reeling from our kiss and the development that I might be the product of witchcraft.

"Burn the witch," my father declared ordering his Royal Guard to take Tatiana and prepare for the burning.

"You will regret this, Mazur!" Tatiana shouted as she was strapped to the pyre. She had not stopped threatening my father, the town, and pleading to Randall and Nathan, her brothers, to run away. The town would later search for them but never find them.

"Hurry up and get this over with," my father commanded his guard as he stood with a torch in his hand.

Lissa kept pulling on my arm. She did not want to witness this, but I had to. I could not look away. The moon high in the sky seemed to hold me in place. Luka appeared next to me grasping my forearm. I had not noticed Lissa slip away; she really did not want to be a part of it. Dragging my eyes away from the witch, I turned to Luka, his eyes full of concern and fear.

"You must go inside, Your Highness," his voice was urgent. He feared for my life. Why? "This is not the place for you."

"I am in the right place," I murmured turning back to the witch as my father threw the torch immediately lighting the pyre.

The witch screamed bloody murder but suddenly stopped. Instead, she laughed and through the flames her eyes met mine. An unusual icy breeze formed around us, and the people cheering that the witch is dying, stopped.

"Oh Ibrahim," Tatiana laughed her eyes never wavering from mine. "What have you done?"

The smell of burning flesh and Tatiana's curse remained with me even as I laid down for bed. In my room, I felt her presence and her anger. I could not stop looking out the window at the moon shinning brighter than usual. Its light lulled me to sleep, and I fell into that strange dream. However this time, as I fell down to the ocean, I was the one on fire. The familiar voice screamed my name only this time I heard it over and over until I woke up.

"Rose?" Luka slapped my cheeks gently. "We have to go."

I groaned and mumbled incoherently unable to comprehend where we had to go. I blinked rapidly and saw the moon still high in the sky. Then, I saw Luka holding a piece of wood like from a chair or perhaps a table. I moved away from him afraid he might be here to abduct me. We knew nothing of him expect he had come on a mission to join our kingdoms as allies. Other than that, he had not offered details about his life.

"Stay away," I whispered though I should have screamed for help. But I did not want to hurt him.

"Rose," he put the wooden piece down and put his hands up to show he meant no harm. "Please. You have to come with me. You are in danger."

At that, we turned so see a figure standing on my doorway holding onto the frame. The figured groaned, and I could not help hear the sound of dripping like rain against the window. Only it was not raining, and the sound was inside my room. Trembling, I stood up and approached the figure. As I moved closer, I recognized my father. I also saw the blood on his hands, dripping onto my floor.

"Rose, no." Luka grabbed my arm and pulled me away from my father.

Before I knew what was happening, Luka, holding the wooden stake, lunged at my father. But it was like Luka was simply a fly, a nuisance. With the back of his hand, my father smacked Luka across the room where he collided with the wall. I screamed as I watched Luka on the ground and unmoving.

"Baba?" I called softly moving towards Luka slowly."Baba? Please speak to me."

"Rose," he groaned. "I am thirsty."

"Baba…"

My father finally looked up at me. His eyes were a bright red as was his mouth. Only his mouth was covered in blood dripping from white, long fans. I screamed loud as he lunged for my throat. A piercing, undeniable, and blinding pain coursed through my body. I felt my life slipping through my body as my father greedily stole my humanity. My vision became blurry and the last thing I remember was Luka on the ground, and he smelled delicious.

* * *

 **AN: I couldn't sleep thinking of this story, so here I am publishing the first chapter. This story sounds similar to Beauty and the Beast with the roles reversed. Maybe. We have to wait and see where it goes. Though I will say in my mind, this story is more like Anastasia. I hope you enjoy this while I finish Bedroom Hymns. I usually don't ask for reviews only on first chapters because I'd like to know if I have enough people interested enough for me to continue, so please review and tell me what you think. Thank you in advance!**


	3. Nightmare

Chapter Two: Nightmare

 _Drip. Drip. Drip._ The distracting sound made it hard to focus on the world around me, or maybe it was the strange feeling that I could see everything and nothing at all at the same time. The spider crawling over my great grandfather's portrait across the room or the speck on the rug. I was under the table lying on the cold hard floor. _Drip. Drip. Drip._ I focused on the droplets of that sweet and metallic smell dripping onto the floor forming a small puddle. The sight made me so thirsty like I needed the liquid or I might die. Its aroma haunted me, beckoned me, and urged me to drink it, to satiate this thirst that was slowly driving me mad. Instinctively, I licked my lips tasting the delicious liquid already there. I raised my hands to touch my lips. The sight of my hands pulled me from my trance. They were sticky covered in fresh blood as I laid on a pool of it seeping through my sleeping gown and hair. _Drip. Drip. Drip._

I had to get out of here. A terrible feeling began to wash over me as I stared at my hands covered in crimson wondering whose blood I was bathed in. I had to find my family, Lissa, and Luka. Luka! My last memory of him was when he laid unconscious after my father threw him across the room. Slowly, images of the previous night returned to me. The bright flames as they engulfed the witch, who screamed and casted her spell. The crowd screaming as they ran as if they could escape the witch's words. The smell of her burning flesh and hair filled my nostrils as if I was reliving the night all over again. Luka pleading me to go with him because I was in danger. My father covered in blood and sinking his… fangs on my neck slowly draining me. Then everything went dark until now. There was nothing in my memory after the attack. I touched my neck and found no wound. Nothing hurt even though I distinctively recall the pain as my father pierced my skin. It was a pain I would not soon forget.

 _Drip. Drip. Drip._ I had to find help. I had to find answers. I had to find a way out of this nightmare. I tried to move slowly, cautiously from under the table, afraid of the monster that was undoubtedly still out there. Before I knew it, I was standing straight facing my great grandparent's portrait across the room. I felt a bit disoriented and even out of balance, but I shook it off. I turned slowly and had I known this was the sight waiting for me, I would have stayed under the table. I would have stayed hugging my knees until our castle was burned to the ground and me with it.

 _Drip. Drip. Drip._ Kirova, my wet nurse, laid on top of the table her eyes unblinking and empty as they gazed at the sky horror still etched in her pale face. There was a nasty wound done by claws or something just as sinister on her neck exposing her trachea to me. Next to her was her niece, Mia, a girl I played with many times as a child. Her fate was the same as Kirova's, throat ripped apart by a monster. On the floor, next to the table, was Mason. He laid face down, so I could not see if he had perished the same way. I did not want to know. I did not want to keep looking around me. I did not have to look any further to know there were more bodies sprawled all over. I could smell it in the air: death and blood. A distant memory of my own hands ripping flesh flashed before my eyes. With a scream threatening to rip my own throat, I turned around and ran away. _Drip. Drip. Drip._

The sound followed me as I ran through the empty, cold corridors. My bare feet covered in dry blood slapped on the stone as I desperately searched for a sign of life. I slowly became aware of the quiet and infrequent beating of my heart. It frightened me. How could this be? Witches, how else? I had no idea what her curse meant, but one thing was for sure, Tatiana had doomed us to a fate worse than death. But I could not focus on that yet. I had to find my loved ones and reassure myself that not everything was lost that together we could find answers and a way to end this nightmare that seemed to go on forever. I called Lissa's and Luka's name softly almost afraid of disturbing the coldness settled around me. Nothing and no one answered. The front doors soon became visible a few steps in front of me. Freedom. Sunlight creeping in through the cracks of the doors gave me hope that with the light the horrors and cold would be chased away. I stopped by the door. A part of me screamed to burst through them, to run as far away as possible and not look back. But another part, almost like an instinct told me to turn around and hide under the table once more.

I felt sweat building on my forehead. My hand reached for the door when a scream resembling my name made me look back. Luka limped towards me his eyes wide in fear. He did not know me long, but he feared for me in the short time we knew each other. His priority was keeping me alive for some reason. I did not understand it for some time. I did not want to. I was afraid too of what the answer might be. He winced as he stopped in front of me, and I could see, no, I smelled it first. The dry blood on the back of his head. I looked at him for a few seconds.

He had a hideous bruise forming on his jaw where my father slapped him. His hair was wild about him and his clothes were torn and soaked in crimson. The amusement and politeness I saw the previous night during dinner was long gone. There was nothing but fear and concern in his eyes and in the way his lips formed a thin line as he regarded me cautiously.

"Luka," I whispered my hand reaching out to touch his bruise.

He recoiled at my touch, and I remembered my hands were covered in blood. Ashamed, I pulled my hand back and took a step back. My memories were limited at the time, but I had the conviction that the blood on my hands and the bodies in the dining hall were my doing. Whatever Tatiana did turned me into the monster of my nightmares.

"Rose," Luka called my name pulling me out of my thoughts. "Are you well?"

I frowned at his choice of words. "Do I look well?" Though I did not feel the need to breathe, I noticed my chest rose and fell violently. My eyes began to burn uncomfortably. "I am covered in blood. Bodies are sprawled all over the dining hall, and I remember my own father attacking me… And you. So tell me, Lord Belikov, do I look well to you?"

"My apologies, Your Highness," he sighed. "It was stupid of me…"

"No," I shook my head fervently as the burning in my eyes increased and the guilt of making him upset gnawed at me. "I apologize. I suppose I am well. Unharmed if that is what you are asking. I am disoriented with hazy memories of last night. Perhaps you could enlighten me. Perhaps you can take me to my family?"

Luka shook his head placing his warm hands on my shoulders. The thirst and the incessant dripping sound came back then. My eyes narrowed on the vein pulsating on his neck, and I swallowed involuntarily.

"I cannot tell you what happened after I tried to take you away," his voice earned my attention snapping me out of my bloodlust. "I was unconscious for a few hours. When I came to my senses, you were gone. I searched the castle for you, and I encountered your handmaiden, Vasilisa..."

"Is she well?" I interrupted.

"Come with me," he avoided my question and my eyes. Instead, he grabbed my hand. Looking down at it, he let go and pulled out a dirty handkerchief out of his torn pants and wiped my hands as best he could. They did not look ghastly once he was done, but the dry blood remained under my finger nails as a reminder of what I had done. With his thumb, he wiped the corners of my mouth. A sad smile broke across his lips. "That will do, Your Highness."

"Thank you," I looked away from him hating the coldness of my skin against his as he took my hand once more and lead me through the silent castle.

I became aware of his heartbeat like drums echoing loudly as he took me down the dungeons. His heart was a contrast from mine which beat once every few minutes. The sound of his was making it hard to focus on what was coming. I wanted to sink my teeth into him and drink his warm blood satiating my thirst burning my throat. I shook my head and bit down on my lower lip piercing it. With my free hand, I touched the wound and found my sharp fangs, which had not been there before. At least I did not think so. In my mind, I began to make notes of my changes to be reviewed later. For now, I had to make sure I did not harm Luka. He did not know me long. Our introduction last night was the first we talked since he arrived in Istanbul more than a week ago. Lissa and I had seen him conversing with my father and walking about the gardens. Since a proper introduction had not been made, I was not to speak to him, and he was forbidden to speak to me. I do not think he ever noticed me. His nose was always buried in a book or in parchment as he wrote.

"Why are you helping me?" I asked quietly afraid to disrupt the silence and darkness around us. Despite knowing for a fact I was a monster, I was still afraid. I was afraid not of swords or knives. I was not afraid of being hurt. I was afraid of this man, and his intense feelings. I had met many princes, and all of them, and I, were bound to protocol. No touching or waltzing about the castle alone. I had met Luka alone without Lissa or a member of the Royal Guard. He had kissed me and spoke boldly of his sentiments on my arranged marriage to Prince Jesse. Whatever his motives were, to help or not, one thing was for sure. He was different; he was passionate, and he terrified me.

"Because you are the princess," he replied stopping in front of a cell. "We can talk more at a later time, Your Highness. For now, you wish to see your loved ones, and here they are."

"Why here?" I frowned as I looked at the iron door used to separate criminals from the rest of the population.

"It is the safest place for now," he said vaguely pushing the door open.

Inside, torches lined the wall illuminating the vast empty room. I saw many members of the Royal Guard and servants standing around speaking quietly among themselves. Lissa sat in a corner with her head resting on her knees. Her long hair formed a veil around her, so I was unable to see much of her. I turned to Luka, who nodded I was safe to approach her. I crossed the room and the conversations ceased immediately. The Royal Guard bowed as I walked past them making my way to Lissa. I touched her head and caressed her hair. Slowly, she looked up at me, and her face was covered in blood. The burning in my eyes returned as I looked my friend over seeing no wounds on her neck. Despite no marks on her, I knew what had happened. The slow quiet murmuring of her heart told me as much, but I needed it to hear it from her.

"Lissa?" I pushed her hair behind her ear. "Are you well?"

"No," a sob erupted from her lips as she threw her arms around me. " _We_ are notwell, Rose. Something terrible has happened to us."

I hugged her tightly to me as she recounted her tale. After she left me watching the witch burn, Lissa retired to bed. A few hours later, she heard screaming. Lissa ventured outside despite fearing for her life, but she had to find me, and make sure I was not in danger. She found me sinking my teeth into Meredith, one of our servants. When Lissa called my name, I turned to attack her.

"That is all I remember," Lissa shook her head as if to loosen the memories blocked by darkness. "Until Lord Belikov found me and brought me here."

"I am so sorry, Lissa," I sobbed though there was no tears trailing down my cheeks only the burning in my eyes. Another change added to my list: I could no longer cry. None of us could. It was then I noticed the only steady heartbeat was Luka's. Everyone in the room must have noticed at the same time, for several heads turned to Luka, who stood by the door with his back against it. I cleared my throat calling back the attention of everyone in the room hoping to distract them. "I am so sorry _this_ has happened to us. I do not know what we are, but we will find answers. I will find the King and Queen. They will know what must be done."

"I have not been able to locate your father," Luka rubbed his eyes. "I have been searching all night for survivors. I realize whatever this is makes you thirsty and consume blood. Those who are not… those who have not been bitten are safely in another room. I was still roaming the halls searching when I found you, Your Highness. Your father's whereabouts are unknown to me."

"What of my mother?" I asked dreading the answer already seeing everyone look away from me including Lissa. "What happened to my mother?"

Luka crossed the room and kneeled next to me taking my hands in his, he bowed his head. "My deepest condolences, Your Highness."

"What?" I whispered pulling my hands away and standing up. My movements were fast startling and knocking Luka back. "What are you saying? What happened? I demand answers."

"Your father must have attacked her first," Luka stood up keeping his distance from me. I probably terrified him. It must not have been easy for him to be in a room full of monsters that could rip his throat out at any moment. "Her throat was ripped open and had no sign of life."

I grabbed his hand and pressed it against my chest. The Royal Guard hissed and tensed at the sight of Luka's hand on me. I did not care. "Feel the whisper of my heart? You could have made a mistake. Her heart must be beating as slow as all of ours. That does not mean my mother is not out there searching for blood or me. I must find her, and my father. They will know what to do."

"Rose," Luka did not remove his hand from my chest either. He looked into my eyes, and I could see all the sorrow in the world reflected in them. "Your mother did not revive. She is gone."

The burning in my eyes returned as I accepted my mother's fate. I felt Luka's arms around me as sobs escaped my lips. He held me tight and whispered something in a foreign language I assumed to be his mother tongue. It was so soothing I ached to fall into a slumber, but I did not feel tired. I felt defeated, and I wanted to simply run away from this nightmare. I always wanted to be free and leave this life behind. A life of etiquette and protocols. A life of arranged marriages and plots of war. This was a sick twist of fate, but perhaps it had been for the better. Perhaps this was my prayers being answered. I looked up at Luka.

"Do you still want to take me away?" I asked looking into his eyes searching for the repulsion or fear of being close to a monster. All I saw was sadness.

"Yes," he whispered without hesitation.

"We can take Lissa," I said wistfully. "We can run away and never look back. There is nothing here for me."

But even as I said those words, the people around me cursed because of my father's arrogance and fear, I knew I could not bring myself to leave them behind to face the curse on their own. Whether I liked it or not, I had been born a princess destined to rule my people. I was bound by my blood to protect them. My duty called me, and it was stronger than the burning in my throat.

I took a step back and shook my head. "We must find my father. Together we will find a solution."

Luka and the Royal Guard argued on the best course of action. One thing they agreed on was me staying behind with Lissa, the women and children. I was still being irrationally protected despite the horrors I had seen and caused. Many of them claimed I had attacked them turning them into _this._ With that knowledge, I knew I had to be the one to risk everything to find answers. After more discussion, a party formed by the Royal Guard and Luka was ready to depart to recover the survivors, living dead or alive. My role was still decided for me. I was staying behind.

"The Queen is gone," I said as the group began to leave. "We do not know the fate of the King, so we must assume I am the last Mazur. I am your Queen now. Your ruler and you must follow my orders. I order you to let me join the search."

"Your Highness," Luka sighed. "Because there is a chance you _are_ the last Mazur is the reason you must stay behind. You are too important to risk losing."

"Too important?" I scoffed. "I am the reason this is happening."

"No," Luka stepped towards me resting his hand on my shoulder. "You had nothing to do with this. I had advised your father of other courses of action in terms of these witch hunts. He did not heed warning now you and your people are paying the price."

"Please, Lord Belikov," I shrugged his hand off. "Do not try to ease my guilt. I know where I stand as representation of my father and his rule. I am Queen until we find Father. My orders are to join you and that is final."

Before he or the Royal Guard could protest, I turned to give Lissa a kiss on the cheek and walked out of the dungeon. The group followed me closely to keep me from harm, but I did not need protection. The Royal Guard was composed of the most elite fighters the army had trained. Strong men built like rocks had fallen under me when I attacked and robbed them of life. There was nothing out there that could harm me. Or so I thought.

We moved through the castle closing and opening doors searching for survivors. We moved swiftly and in silence only communicating when needed. Luka walked next to me keeping almost no distance between us. My hand brushed against his many times, but I refused to look at him. I could not stand the way his cheeks blushed with the walking and moving bodies around. I could not stand the fact he was alive, and I was not. Perhaps in another life we could have been. In another life where I was not a princess with my duties engrained into my very being, or he was not a commoner, we could have pursued the unspoken attraction between us. Now, with the curse upon my family and my people, the possibility of running away was gone forever.

Spiridon, member of the Royal Guard, moved ahead as we came close to the portrait hall with the bay windows. I followed closely missing the sunlight against my skin. But as we saw the sunlight flooding the hall, I once again felt unbearably warm and felt sweat on my forehead. I reached to wipe my forehead with the back of my hand only to find no moisture there. It was simply the sensation of sweating that I felt, and it would eventually fade like many things. As Spiridon stepped into the sunlight, he burst into flames. He let out a single scream of pain before he was gone turned into a pile of ashes. I stopped in my tracks a few feet away from the same fate. I stared at the ashes with wide eyes and mouth agape. Another part of the curse no doubt being deprived of sunlight, of the most basic thing that brought me happiness in old days. Luka pulled me back his hand on my elbow as the rest of the guard retreated into the darkness, no doubt shocked like me.

"King Mazur could have suffered the same fate," one of the guards was saying as we regrouped circling back and avoiding sunlight. "There is so much we do not know about this… curse."

I remained silent and in shock. It made sense the witch wanted us to burn like she did. A fate as cruel as what we did to her. I walked behind the group and listened as they slowly abandoned hope and contemplated walking out and ending it quickly. I admitted to myself then that the easy way out was better than searching for answers we may never find with the witch gone. Spiridon was gone in a second, and while it must have been painful, his death had looked instantaneous. But that was the cowardly way out. Mazurs never give up. Whether I agreed with the sentiment or not, the responsibility of leading my people had fallen on me, and I could not give myself the luxury of running away or giving up.

"What kind of soldiers are you?" I stopped walking as I spoke loudly letting my voice carry in the empty halls. "How dare you abandon your sacred duty to protect the royal family? As long as I walk this Earth, you shall do your duty, and I shall do mine. I am not giving up. I will find Father, and together we will lead our people out of this darkness, out of this nightmare, and we will need you by our side when we do. We will restore our humanity and with it our rule."

"Well said, Your Highness," I heard his voice before I saw him. The relief that washed over me was replaced by worry when I finally laid eyes on him. Mason rounded a corner and held onto the wall as he covered his neck with the palm of his hand. Blood stained his fingers as he moved closer, and I could see him better.

"Mason," I rushed forward in a matter of seconds I was next to him holding his weight up though it was hardly any effort. "You are alive."

"For now," he grunted as I helped him down to sit with his back against the wall. With a small smile on his pale face, he uncovered his neck exposing the wound. "I may not live long."

"I did this," I whispered closing my eyes briefly unable to take the sight of fang marks covered in blood. I pushed back the urge to lick my lips, to run my tongue over the wound oozing that thirst quenching liquid.

"Why do you say that?" Mason frowned confused though it could have been in pain. "I do not recall anything besides looking for you through the madness."

"You were in the dining hall. I thought you were dead like… Kirova and Mia. I woke up covered in blood, and I know I did it. I killed them, and I attacked you." I explained recalling the bodies on the table and scattered all over the room.

"Perhaps," Mason whispered his eyelids dropping. "But I live to serve you, Your Highness. It has been my honor to have served you in any way even with my blood and life."

"Stop," I hated I could not cry. I hated I did this. I felt saddened to see my longest companion die before me. Mason had been appointed my personal guard when he turned of age. He took his position serious always close, always vigilant. "Do not say farewell yet, brother. I cannot… Lissa and I cannot go through this nightmare without you."

"You shall," his eyes turned to Luka. "You will make sure of it, will you not, Lord Belikov?"

"I swear it," Luka swore with his hand over his heart.

"I will see you in another life, Rose," Mason smiled as his eyes closed, and I no longer heard his heart beat.

I turned to Luka resting my head on his chest seeking comfort. I gripped his shirt and screamed letting the pain echo around us throughout the castle. This nightmare would not soon end. I cursed Tatiana for casting the spell. I wished she had punished only my family not Mason. Not Lissa. Or Spiridon. Kirova. Mia. Their only crime had been to serve my family. I cursed my father for allowing the witch hunts to go as far as they did. Had he not been always paranoid of losing his power, his status as ruthless king, none of this would have happened. I would not be losing Mason, who was like a brother. I would not be losing my humanity. My heart beat faster. Or so I thought. Perhaps it was an echo of what it used to do. But as I sat there with my head resting on Luka's chest, my scream fading, and Mason's lifeless body in front of me, I cursed myself most of all.

* * *

 **AN: Thank you for the support and encouragement! I appreciate every one reading, favoring, following and reviewing. I have a few things to say so brace yourselves for a lengthy AN.**

 **First, the story may feel slow, but I do want to take my time with it to make sure it's good. I feel a lot of pressure, good kind, to make this story great. All of you have such high expectations of me, I hope I do not disappoint. Which brings me to my second thing, since I am taking my time with this story, updates may not be as frequent as we would all like. My work schedule is a bit insane. I may have three days off, which would mean frequent updates if I'm not too tired, and then I may work seven days straight which means no updates. I'm just trying to say bear with me. Third, I mentioned to one of you I was not too crazy about the title of the story. However, I am struggling a bit to make up my mind. If you haven't done so, please take a second to go to my profile and vote on my poll to help me decide the title of this story. You won't see it if you're on mobile or the app. You will have to use the desktop/tablet version of the site to see the poll at the top of my profile. Anyway, I believe that was all. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	4. Intentions

Chapter Three: Intentions

Luka rubbed my arms providing comfort and warmth. I thought how impractical of him trying to warm my cold skin. I would never be warm or cold. I would never be anything. I simply existed. I would never cry again, or feel the sun on my skin. My heart beat, slow and unsteady, was the work of Tatiana's witchcraft. All of this was her doing, and mine. I had taken Mason's life as my father took mine and my mother's. It was a never ending circle of blame. At the end of the day, it probably did not matter who was at fault. What was done could not be undone. I would keep taking lives and consuming blood until… Who knew? Who knew how this story would end? Not I. Tatiana perhaps knew, but my father had killed her. Once again, I went around in this circle placing blame on the King, on the witch, myself… Never ending. Perhaps there was no ending. Perhaps I would forever be caught in this vicious circle. My only comfort was my mother and Mason had been liberated.

I pulled away from Luka. There was no need to remain in his arms, for I would never be truly comforted. I would never forget Mason, and the fact that I had his blood on my hands, truthfully. I cleared my throat out of habit and opened my mouth to speak when Mason began to convulse. His body trembled violently, and I took a step back as did everyone around me. We had no idea what to do as we simply watched. Blood began to ooze out of his nose, eyes, ears and mouth. The blood, scarlet at first, turned black as Mason continued to convulse. Luka grasped my hand and unclenched my fist as my nails dug into my skin.

"Black," he murmured looking at my torn palm where I buried my nails. "I believe he is turning."

"I do not recall this," I murmured.

"I do not think any of you would," Luka knelt next to Mason, who had stopped convulsing. "I think you died. This is the body ridding itself of the human blood replacing it with this black substance, which I am certain is also blood."

"What …" I trailed off as Mason opened his blue eyes, and I watched as they turned red, and his fangs protruded. I recognized the fangs and associated them with one thing: bloodlust. Knowing that, I was able to stop Mason as he lunged for Luka.

I gripped Mason's neck and pushed him against the wall. "I will not allow it, Mason." He growled at me his eyes glued to Luka, and I felt my own fangs against my lips as I spoke. "You will not harm, Luka. You are thirsty, I am too, but he is not dinner. Understood?"

I was not sure if Mason would listen as he kept his eyes on Luka and bared his fangs. I did not want to think of what I had to do if Mason did not listen. Besides walking out into sunlight, I had no idea how or if we could die. How would I have stopped Mason? I did not have to find out then because his eyes met mine and slowly he nodded he understood my command. Lowering him, I slowly released my grip on his neck and turned away from Mason.

Luka inhaled sharply as I turned to face him. "Your eyes."

"They are red," I nodded closing them and willing myself to calm down. "I felt the need to feed when you took me down the dungeons. Seeing Mason helped me put the changes together. The list is getting longer by the second. We will converse more later, for now," I turned to Mason. "He must feed. I think it is hard for us to focus unless we do. He might try to attack you again."

Luka nodded ripping the sleeve of his shirt. I frowned as I watched him kneel in front of Mason and offer his arm. Before I could protest, Mason sank his fangs into Luka's flesh and fed. Luka flinched and his skin paled significantly. Absentmindedly, I touched my neck where my father fed and recalled the unbearable pain. I could see letting Mason feed was hurting him, but Luka endured it. I should have stopped Luka, but the curiosity bested me. The list of changes was getting longer but not long enough. Clearly, biting was required to turn a human. I sighed at the word human. I had to admit I was no longer one of them. However, just what else was involved in the process? My mother was bitten, but she had not turned. I had been bitten, turned, bitten some and killed others. I felt enlightened then. Feeding and killing humans in the process did not turn them. Feeding to the point of death did the trick. It was another cruel twist. Tatiana wanted us to suffer. As we witnessed with Mason, to turn we would have had to bleed to death, expel the blood from our human bodies, and come back reanimated. But what would happen to Luka if Mason fed on him?

"That is enough, Mason," I could not allow Luka to be turned. What was worse, I was beginning to feel the thirst once more. Hearing Mason slurp and swallow the blood was too much to bear. I felt the Royal Guard tense behind me. I watched them out of the corner of my eye and saw all of them with red eyes and fangs protruding. However, they made no attempt to attack. Like Mason, they heeded my command. Luka was not a meal unless he willingly offered to help. I added my discovery to my list as I turned back to Mason, who did not stop feeding. Luka was beginning to weaken with sweat forming on his brow and his skin paling significantly more. I stepped closer and touched Mason's head and spoke with command in my voice. "I said that is enough."

Mason let go and leaned back against the wall sighing contently and licking his bloodstained fangs. I caught Luka before he collapsed on the floor. I sat down on the ground pulling Luka against my chest. I ignored the metallic smell in the air and pressed my hand on his wound to stop the bleeding. Luka winced at the pain but still said nothing. I pushed a strand of his hair back as he breathed evenly and his body sagged against mine. How selfless. I wished I could be like him. But who was he exactly?

"We need to keep moving, Your Highness," he reminded me weakly. "We must find the King."

I nodded. I began to command my guards without taking my eyes off Luka. He was beautiful and mysterious. It was time I got some answers out of him. "Serena, take Mason to Lissa. Arthur, lead the search for my father. Once you find him, bring him to me."

"Where will you be, Your Highness?" Arthur did not fight my command and did as told. As long as I spoke with authority in my voice, everyone seemed to listen or perhaps they finally accepted me as their ruler.

I helped Luka walk towards the throne room. There were no windows in the massive room. Our footsteps echoed in the emptiness as I lowered Luka onto the steps leading up to the throne. He sat with his own hand on the wound stopping the bleeding and barely staying conscious. I stepped away from him and looked around me. The walls were lined with portraits of the current monarch and his family. _Our_ family portrait, massive covering the entire wall behind the throne, depicted my father wearing his crown with many jewels to show our wealth. He stood tall, his mighty sword in his hand to prove his power, and looked down on me with no mercy in his eyes. To his right, was my mother looking regal as a queen should. She wore a red gown bejeweled. A crown sat upon her head with diamonds and a small smile played on her lips. I stood to my father's left wearing a silk white gown. My hair had been pulled up leaving a few strands of curls framing my face. Jewels around my neck and on my head proved I was one of them. But there was nothing in my eyes. I was not the merciless king or the proud queen. I was just a girl trapped in that portrait. Trapped in the life I never would have chosen for me but for better or for worse had chosen me.

All over the walls, portraits hung depicting my father in battle, my mother as a poised queen, and me a ghost of what the King and Queen could have had. I circled the throne my hands caressing the shiny mahogany. I lowered myself onto the throne and looked down at Luka. I had felt his eyes on me as I moved. I allowed him to watch me. What a sight must I have been? Wild hair covered in blood as well as my clothing. I remembered then I was wearing my sleeping gown; a cream colored dress made of flimsy fabric to keep me cool at night. I did not dwell on the fact that he had lust in his eyes. I knew lust from the many times Prince Jesse visited. However, Jesse's lust was more animalistic. Luka's was almost like he was in awe of me. Perhaps that would change momentarily.

"My father held his sessions here," I began caressing the smooth arms of the chair and sinking into the velvet cushion under me. "When his people have questions or concerns, he meets them here. When someone was accused of a crime, he convicted them here. I asked him one day why. Why did he have to meet them in such an empty room? Why did he sit above them? Why are we so different from them?

"He said we are royalty, Rosemarie. We were chosen by God to rule, to carry out His will. He said people want to believe in a higher power here on Earth. They need someone to admire and fear. As for criminals, he said he could see their guilt from up here. Up here, he could see everything. Friends and foes."

I turned to meet his eyes. "Which one are you, Lord Belikov? Friend or foe?"

He held my gaze for a few seconds before looking away. He remained silent as he looked at one of the portraits.

"You are very beautiful." He began still not looking at me but at one of my portraits. "I heard tales of you. Your father was seeking allies through you. While our ruler had no interest in an arranged marriage, I was interested in seeing you for myself. I offered my services to the tsar to bring our kingdoms together in peace. I suppose I am a friend. At least I was." He finally turns to look at me. "I saw you tending to your garden on my first day here. You looked so unhappy, and I wished to make that go away. You deserve to smile. I am no longer your father's friend after he attacked you."

It was my turn to look away. If I could blush, I would have. But this was hardly the time to be flustered by his intense eyes and passionate words. My father would be disappointed I looked away. In an attempt to redeem myself, I turned back to him and tilted my chin up conjuring the princess inside me.

"I do not care what you are to my father," I replied meeting his gaze. "He may be dead. In which case, I am ruler of Istanbul. I must know what you are to me before I place any unwarranted trust in you."

"I was under the impression you already trusted me?" Luka arched an eyebrow, and I could see the smile playing in the corner of his lips. "You and I were holding each other quite close a few minutes ago. I thought that made us, if not friends, then something. You must feel it, Your Highness. The attraction…"

"You must understand," I interrupted narrowing my eyes. "That will not happen again. Your affection is not needed. I have a curse to break, people to lead, and you will only complicate matters. So tell me…"

"Complicate?" He interrupted me standing up and making his way towards me. "I do not think there is anything complicated about us."

"How dare you interrupt me?" I stood up too and walked away from him. I could not let him break down my walls. Not when I still had so many questions left. "This is inappropriate, Lord Belikov, and hardly the time. I must know now, are you my friend or my foe?"

"I am everything and anything you desire me to be," he whispered as he stood behind me. He did not touch me but stood close enough I felt the warmth radiating off his body. It was a reminder of the situation. Of the curse. The witch. Everything we could not be. In this life or next.

"A simple diplomat would not risk his life for the rulers of a foreign land," I turned to face him placing my hands on his chest to push him away. I remembered I was stronger than he, and I could not push him without fear of killing him. "Why did you let Mason feed? Why do risk your life? Why did you try to rescue me last night? What exactly are your intentions?"

"My intentions are to protect you, Rose," he murmured placing his hands on mine still on his chest. His eyes never left mine.

"Your Highness," I said through my teeth. "You must address me as Your Highness or Your Majesty."

"No," he gripped my hand tightly. "I am done protecting the crown. I will protect you, Rose. I promise."

"Do not make promises you cannot keep, Lord Belikov," I murmured lost in his brown eyes. While I did not find all the answers I wanted, at least one thing was sure. Luka had feelings for me. The question was did I? Or better yet, could I?

Before I could find the answer to my inner struggle, the doors to the throne room burst open. Arthur and Pavel lead the group I sent to search for my father. I jumped away from Luka when I saw my father at the center of the group carrying someone in his arms. Her auburn curls came into view as the Royal Guard knelt leaving my father standing carrying my mother in his arms. In a second, I was next to my father. I caressed my mother's head as my eyes burned with the tears I could no longer shed. Curse the witch for taking away my ability to properly mourn the death of my mother. The queen and I had many differences, but I knew she loved me. I felt it when she kissed my forehead or looked in amusement as Lissa and I danced in our new gowns. My mother wanted the best for me and while we did not agree what that was, she never intended to harm me. Losing her was worse than losing my humanity.

"I am sorry," my father sobbed as he looked at my mother's blank expression. "I am so sorry, my love. This was never my intention."

"What was your intention, Baba?" I growled my eyes resting on her throat ripped apart. "What did you expect to happen when you burned the witch?"

"Rosemarie," he tore his sorrowful eyes from my mother to glare at me. "Watch your tone. I am still your father."

I laughed humorlessly and sat on the throne. "That did not stop you from consuming my blood."

"I could not stop myself," he replied moving towards me. "You were not there. I awoke to my heart beating wildly in my chest and an unbearable pain in my throat. Your mother… I did not see her. All I saw was her neck beckoning me. All I felt was her blood on my lips. I have made many mistakes none as big as murdering your mother. She was innocent…"

"I was too!" I roared standing up and throwing his beloved throne across the room where it splintered against the wall. "I was innocent too. Lissa. Mason. Mia. Your people were innocent, and you have failed them, Baba. You have failed me."

"I did the best I could," my father lowered my mother gently onto the ground. He moved slowly towards me. In his eyes, I saw the merciless king not my Baba. "I did what I did to protect your mother and you. What do you think the people you love so much would have done to us if I denied them justice? They would have burned us to the ground. They would have rebelled."

I threw my head back and laughed. "What of the mighty King Mazur? The king who could silence any rebellion before it gained momentum? Where was he last night when our people made you so afraid? You told me once the people seek a higher power to fear, to lead them through the darkness. That was supposed to be you. Now, Mother has paid the price of your weakness and your fear."

My father was upon me in the blink of an eye. He pushed me against the wall with his hand wrapped around my neck like I had done Mason. Except Mason had refused to attack me. Even in his newly reanimated mind, Mason understood who I was. I was his princess, whom he swore to protect with his own life. As for me? I held my parents in a pedestal regardless of how disappointed they were of me. I respected and loved them. However, I had changed overnight. The curse not only brought terrifying changes, but it also brought me confidence I never had. I could stand my ground against my father. I was no longer a timid princess who was supposed to know her place. I was strong and fast. I was more than I ever imagined I could be.

I kicked my father's chest sending him flying backwards against the Royal Guard, they managed to move out of the way thanks to our new quick reflexes. I did not let my father recuperate and was next to him as he tried to rise. Gripping him by the collar of his torn shirt, I picked him up and slammed him against the ground. The castle shook with the force, and he looked at me wide eyed surprised at my strength and defiance.

"You will not push me around anymore, Baba." I felt my fangs as I spoke. "I am your equal. Mother is gone. I shall rule by your side now. Together, we will find a way to fix your mistake."

I pulled away from him and stalked out of the throne room. There was nowhere for me to go. It was still daylight outside, and the castle did not have many places to hide where my father would not find me. Even if he did come for me, I would be ready. I knew I was being unfair. I knew what it was like to lose control. I had shed my fair share of blood last night. However, I had not killed Mother though I might as well had.

I stood on the doorway staring at my broken door. My bedchamber was in chaos with my canopy bed torn apart. The feathers of my pillows scattered all over. The floor tainted with pools of dry blood. Sunlight streaming in through the window seemed to call my name only I knew that was not possible. I turned with a sigh to see Luka making his way towards me. The amusement and intensity of before was gone replaced with worry for me. He frowned as he regarded me but said nothing for a second. Instead, he stepped into the room drawing my curtains closed shutting out the light.

"I suppose you are here to finish our conversation," I said stepping into the room reaching for my wardrobe.

"I thought we were done," he said standing by the window making sure no sunlight found its way in. "You made your stance very clear."

"Why are you here?" I reached for a black gown. My mother had died. Many people I loved had lost their lives. Somehow, we had to honor them. Bury them properly so they may find Heaven.

"To assist you in any way I can, Rose."

"No," I turned to him. He stood with his hands behind his back. Despite his stiff posture, the frown remained on his face as well as his lips turned downwards. "I meant, why are you in Istanbul? You said you wanted to see me for yourself. You saw me that first day. Why did you remain in my kingdom? What did you expect to gain from seeing me?"

"I do not know," he looked away and sighed. "I have never felt this way about anyone."

"What is that you feel?" I asked curiously. I had never felt anything for any man. They were all the same in my eyes seeking something from me. Power. Sex. Riches. What was I supposed to feel for this man from a strange land?

"I feel an inexplicable connection to you," he admitted meeting my eyes again. "From the moment I saw you, I felt a pull towards you. Warmth washed over me as I watched you caress those roses, which paled in beauty to you. Your eyes reminded me of home. Your skin sun kissed and unblemished…"

"Did you plan to take me away?" I interrupted unable to bear hearing him express his affections for me. I could not feel anything in my chest. My heart did not beat wildly. My cheeks did not blush. There was nothing. The beating of my heart remained the same as he expressed how he felt. Life was not fair.

"Yes," he confessed meeting my eyes unashamed to his secret plans. "I hoped to remain here longer and court you. Convince you I meant no harm. I know we do not know each other, but I planned on convincing you, I would protect you and take you away from this life that made you so sad. I hoped you would fall in love with me like I have for you, Rose. From the very first moment I laid eyes on you."

"I do not," I looked away from him. I could not bear to see his eyes sadden when I delivered my final blow. "I do not feel the same way. I would never. You may remain here as a friend, an ally to the crown, but make no mistake, Lord Belikov, I am a princess. I will rise to rule. I will rise and defeat this curse that has fallen upon my family and my people. And I will not run away. Ever."

He did not say anything or follow as I left him in my bedchamber. My eyes burned as I made my way to the dungeon to reunite with the people I belonged with. I did not belong with Luka. No matter what I felt before this happened, I knew I could never run away from my responsibilities no matter how much I wanted it, how much I prayed. No matter what I did to rid myself of my fate. I had to spare him from my curse. I did not know if our bloodlust would return to night, and we would finish what we started and kill everyone left in the castle, including Luka. I hoped if I broke his heart, he would leave and never return to this cursed land. I hoped he would find someone worthy of his heart and love because I would never be.

Once again, I wondered if in another life, he and I would be together. His intensity was what I needed. I had lived my whole life deprived of true love. Not love like my best friend or parents had for me. I craved the love of epic songs. I dreamt of it. The voice in my human dreams pulsated with love, washing over me, and enveloping me in its warm sincerity. Whoever the owner of the voice was, he loved me for me and not for my title. He loved me knowing the atrocities I had committed. I just knew in my being, that man was not Luka. I was not right for him, for I no longer felt capable of new emotions. I was familiar with the love for Lissa, Mason and even my father because I knew what I was supposed to feel from my human life. When Luka kissed me, I felt afraid and excited, but I did not know what it meant, and I had not had the time to explore it, not that I could. It was not fair to him to allow him to love a corpse who could not love him in return. He was alive and he could love, hate and feel new emotions for others, while I had to content myself with old feelings. The sooner we ended whatever we had developed in a single night, the better. I had to focus on the task at hand. Honoring the dead, meeting with my father and Royal Guard to discuss our next move, and end this curse. There was no time to dwell on dreams.

While those of us who turned cleaned up, Luka met with the living to explain the situation. If I had been human, I would tremble afraid our only allies would turn their backs on us and ran away screaming about monsters who consume blood to live. Keeping our curse a secret was paramount, and if they decided to leave, I would have no choice but turn them or kill them. I had to protect us in any way necessary. If the rest of our kingdom heard of what we had become, our demise would be the same as Tatiana's. My father had allowed the kingdom's fear to grow into a monster of its own with no way for us to defeat it. However, my disturbing thoughts were calmed when our human allies helped us block all windows to keep the deadly sun out and gather the dead in the dining hall until nightfall when we would bury them. I felt the familiar feelings of gratitude and guilt at the same time as I walked the halls and saw my people clean up my family's mess. I swore I would liberate them from servitude as soon as our curse was broken. I was ready to call a meeting to discuss our next move when the chorus of voices formed outside chanting my family's name. If I was still alive, my heart would be beating fast in fear.

* * *

 **AN: Thanks for your kind words! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know you all many questions and are anxious for Rose to meet Dimitri, he will be in the story fyi. All will be answered in time, and I hope I do not disappoint. Lastly, don't forget to vote on my poll. I will leave it up until we reach chapter six aka seven here. Until next time!**


	5. Overthrown

Chapter Four: Overthrown

I rushed to my father's side. He paced in the foyer as the doors to our castle rattled. Our people knocked incessantly calling the name of their king. I turned to my father but he avoided meeting my gaze. I did not know if he was angry at my defiance a few hours ago, or if he was ashamed of what he had done. I pushed my concern for him aside for the moment. We had to protect the people both living and dead. Everyone around me whispered among themselves and waited for my father to make a decision.

My eyes met Luka's in the crowd. He showed no emotion, and I wondered if he was hurting or upset I broke his heart. Maybe I was giving myself too much credit, and his ego was the only thing wounded. I looked away from him. There was no time to deal with his feelings either. My father continued to pace and said nothing as the crowd gathered outside kept calling for him. I did not how long the doors would hold them back, and I knew we had to make a choice and quickly. I cleared my throat to get my father's attention, but he seemed to be in his own world or deliberately ignoring me. Either way, I drew the attention of my people instead, so they turned to me hoping I had an answer.

Lissa squeezed my hand next to me as if to encourage me. I smiled briefly at her before I stepped forward and spoke loud enough for the people gathered in the foyer to hear me. "We ought to let them in. Listen to what they have to say and act as if nothing is wrong."

"You want to lie?" My father turned to me, and I saw his eyes glowing red. "Lies will get us nowhere. The truth eventually comes out. Tatiana proved that. She had us all fooled she was a simple midwife…"

"Tatiana had to hide because of us," I interrupted him. "Now, we have to hide because of her. What do you suggest we do? Tell them the truth? I thought you were so afraid of them."

My father growled. "No. Not tell them. Show them what we are. This burning in my throat has returned. How many of you feel it?" He addressed the crowd.

I looked at them and saw one by one their eyes turned red now that my father brought to their attention the hunger for blood. "The burning is always there," I explained trying to diffuse the situation. I knew what my father was suggesting another bloodbath. I could not allow it even if eventually I would want to drink too. "There are many things different about us. We will discuss them, but first, we must buy some time. We must appease the crowd outside and show them everything is well. That is what they want. They want reassurance that Tatiana's spell will not harm them. The people need their king to tell them no harm will come to them."

My father laughed. "I believe it is too late for that, Rosemarie."

"It is never too late, Baba," I replied arching my eyebrow at him. "If you do not feel capable of facing your people, I can do it. I will address them in the throne room while you all remain hidden in the dungeons."

"Do you think I am a criminal?" My father moved towards me his face suddenly a few inches from mine. "I am still the King, and I will not hide in the dungeons. I committed no crime. None of us did. I gave the people justice they demanded and for that we are paying the price. They must suffer. I will feast on their blood and welcome anyone who wishes to do the same."

I took a step back noticing out of the corner of my eye Luka moving closer to me. He looked tense and ready to jump in front of me if my father decided to attack. Humans. They knew not of their limitations. However, I knew I had to make a choice and soon otherwise I would have more blood on my hands possibly Luka's if he decided to intervene. I remained calm and interlaced my hands behind my back as I watched my father's eyes filled with bloodlust.

"I never wanted this, Baba," I whispered my eyes on his. "I never wanted to be Queen. I never wanted to rule. I am deeply sorry you could not have the son you always prayed for. I am sorry I have disappointed you and Mother, but everything has changed for the worse. I see now. My duty is clear to me, and you finally have your wish. Seize him," I commanded the Royal Guard putting every ounce of command in my voice.

Pavel, my father's most trusted ally, grasped the king's left elbow while Arthur seized the other efficiently restraining him. The king's bloodlust faded as he slowly understood what I meant.

"My own daughter," he lowered his head as he laughed maniacally. "My own daughter has overthrown me. I feared this moment would come, but I never suspected from you, Rosemarie."

"No," I placed my hand on his cheek. He looked up at my touch, and I smiled sadly. "I am not overthrowing you, Father. I am simply releasing you from your duties. We can do this officially if you wish. A coronation. This is what you wanted for your princess, is it not? I am everything you wanted now. Strong and powerful."

"Indeed," he smiled. The red in his eyes slowly faded and his fangs retracted. "I can walk on my own."

I nodded my head and allowed Pavel and Arthur to release him. "We shall meet after I appease the crowd. We can discuss our next move together, Baba. Regardless of my succession to the throne, I will always need and want your guidance and wisdom."

My father said nothing else as he walked past me with Pavel and the Royal Guard following him. I had not expected the confrontation to go as well as it did. I thought my father would fight and scream I had betrayed him. I thought another fight would break out. His behavior was very unlike him. He did not give up easily, but I supposed our curse had changed us not just physically but also mentally. I pushed that grim thought aside for a later time. I had more important matters to tend to. The list of things I had to deal with was getting as long as my new qualities, which reminded me to take control of the situation before me. I commanded the servants to clean the throne room as quickly as possible while I changed into something less sinister. We could not let the people know there had been a death, or multiple, in the castle. As I had said, we had to act as if nothing was amiss.

As I retreated to my chambers to change, Luka caught up as Lissa tightened the laces on my dress. Luka was out of breath from running up the stairs. I forgot easily how different we were now. We had been from the beginning that was why nothing could happen between us, but now it was truly impossible. I watched him regain his composure as Lissa pulled up my hair with emerald pins.

"Are you well?" Luka asked standing up straighter.

He also had cleaned up wearing a simple white chemise with sleeves and brown leather pants. His hair was tied tightly with a black ribbon and even then his hair was long. I saw the apprehension in his eyes as he inspected me. I knew he would see nothing there. I was a shell of my former self, not that I was any different before. My parents prohibited many of my actions. When I wished to run with the children under the rain, they chastised me and reminded me to remain poise at all times. When Lissa and I played our games in the garden, and I returned with stains on my dress, I was chastised. When I smiled at men, I was chastised. I was not allowed to show emotion or be myself. This was no different. I was hiding behind a mask of bravery and power while deep inside I screamed and wished for this nightmare to end. This curse had brought many things into perspective. I realized I could not run away from my destiny, but now I wished things were not so complicated.

"I am," I replied standing up and smoothing my skirt. "Are you?"

"Yes," he sighed and extended his hand out to me. "Allow me to escort you, Your Majesty."

He emphasized my new title. I wished my heart could break hearing him sound so defeated and hurt. I wished I could feel everything even if it was forbidden for me to feel it. I wished I could suffer with him because at least that would mean I was not cursed, and I was not about to lie to my people. Against my better judgment, I took his hand and allowed him to lead me to the throne room at his own pace. On his palm, I felt the familiar warmth that belonged to him and only him. I felt his heart beating faster, and I wondered if it was because of me.

"You look beautiful," he whispered keeping his eyes ahead as we descended the stairwell. "You always do."

"Luka," I chastised. "I need you to understand..."

"I apologize, Your Majesty," he said quickly. "I have yet to learn to mind my tongue. It shall not happen again."

"No need to apologize, Lord Belikov," I used his own title knowing I also had to watch my tongue. We seemed to keep forgetting we had to put a wall between us, but it kept crumbling down every time he looked at me or touched me.

"I have made a choice," he said as we neared the throne room. We had remained silent for a while both lost in our own thoughts. "You said I could remain here as your ally. If you allow it, I would like to stay in your palace until I am certain you are safe."

"Of course," I replied turning to him before entering the throne room. I never expected him to linger, and I feared the day he would leave. Not only because I feared his ruler would find out about us but also because I knew I would miss him terribly. "You may stay as long as you like. I am thankful."

"Do not be," his eyes met mine. I saw pain in them as he said his next words. "I do not do it for you. I do it for Russia."

He took a step back and bowed down to me. My eyes burned as I pushed the doors open. I did not know what I expected from Luka. I think deep inside I wanted him to fight for me despite my earlier words to forget about me. I wanted him to wait until I broke the curse. It was unfair to expect him to put his life on hold. I had no idea how to break the curse or what it had made us. There was so much still unknown about my condition. It could take years to find a solution. Perhaps I would never find one. I shook my head feeling stupid for even thinking Luka would wait for me. Even if he did, what then? We still could not be together. There was the matter of the differences in our blood, in our upbringing, and the rules that governed me.

With an unnecessary sigh, I took a step into the throne room and did not look behind me to see Luka follow behind with sorrow in his eyes. The crowd fell silent upon my entrance and watched me as I walked confidently. I stopped at the bottom of the steps. I looked at the top where the throne sat a few hours ago. The servants had cleaned the shattered throne but had not replaced it at my command. If I had set myself up for a coronation before my time, if I was doomed to follow my destiny, I was going to be different. I was not going to be like my father. I stayed where I was at the bottom of the steps and turned to face my people.

Many frowned seeing I remained at the same level as they did. Murmurs began to spread gaining momentum as their concerns grew louder and louder. I allowed them to voice their fears and thoughts freely as I calmed myself. It had been a good idea I kept those who were cursed away. The beating of hearts and the warmth of hundreds of bodies in a small room was unbearable. I did not know if they would have been capable of restraining themselves. Somehow, I was the only one with enough control to refrain from the bloodlust. If only I had refrained when I first turned, Kirova and Mia would be alive. My throat burned painfully; the only pain I was allowed to feel. I licked my lips and willed my mind to focus not on the blood pumping in their veins, or what I have done, but on the task at hand. I was supposed to be protecting Lissa, Mason, Pavel, Arthur, my father, and everyone whether they were alive or dead.

"Please," I began loudly letting my voice carry over the crowd. I could not remember the last time I addressed a crowd of this magnitude on my own. The answer was never. My father and mother had groomed me to be queen, but I had yet to put my training into practice. They thought I had time. They thought they had time before I had to lead. "Please be silent. I know why you are here."

I paused as I organized my thoughts and wondered how to convince this room nothing was amiss, and Istanbul would be safe from Tatiana's curse. Luka stood to my right and despite the distance between us not only physically but emotionally, it comforted me to see him there. He was turning into a constant support and protector in my life. Even though our conversation left both of us tense, Luka nodded in encouragement even going as far as granting me a small smile full of faith. He had faith I could make this better. I wished I had not failed him.

"You heard the witch spew curses and threats," I continued making eye contact with as many people as possible. "But I am here to reassure you, Istanbul remains untouched by the wickedness of the witch. She is gone. She is ashes, and here we stand alive and well. You are under the protection of God, and His closest ally, my father and your king. No harm will befall upon you as long as the Mazurs rule under God's blessing."

"Where is the king?" Someone shouted from the crowd, but I could hear him as clear as if he stood next to me. "We came to see the king not you."

"You ought to respect the princess," another voice protested. "She is to be our queen one day, if God allows."

"But where is King Mazur, Your Highness?" A woman from the front of the crowd addressed me. She held a baby in her arms, and I could tell my speech had done nothing to appease her fear.

"My mother, your Queen, has fallen ill…"

Chaos erupted around me as people wondered out loud if this was the witch's doing. They wondered how safe they truly were. No matter what I had said, they did not believe Istanbul remained peaceful and under divine protection. I turned to Luka hoping for enlightenment. He had moved closer to me in order to take me away if the crowd turned violent. But they were busy discussing among themselves what they should do. It was like I was nothing. Like I was not there. I wondered if they would ever listen to me if I ascended the throne. I had no intentions of marrying Prince Jesse especially not now. He would not keep my curse a secret. Prince Jesse would use this to take my throne and kingdom from me. I could not allow it, but a queen ruling without a husband was preposterous. They would never listen to me.

"Silence!" Luka called for order standing next to me his hand brushing against mine. "Please listen to Princess Rosemarie. She is here to speak on behalf of King Ibrahim. Before you lose composure, I suggest you listen to the end."

"As I said," I began again conjuring my newfound authority. "The Queen has fallen ill. She has been for a while. Her health has been fragile for quite some time. I believe seeing the witch burn and hearing her curses have pushed my mother to the edge. As of right now, she is resting with my father, her dutiful husband, at her side. I beg all of you to pray for her recovery so that our queen and king may rise again stronger than ever. Now, please return to your duties, return to life as normal. There is nothing to fear."

The crowd dispersed talking amongst themselves animatedly. My lies seemed to have convincing enough they left the castle in high spirits. For the first time, I felt drained and weak. I sat on the steps and rested my head on my hand as Luka shut the doors closed keeping the sunlight out. Even though we remained in the darkness of the castle, I felt the sun sinking in the horizon. Night would be upon us soon, and for that I was thankful. Perhaps I could sneak outside for fresh air. I laughed humorlessly knowing full well I did not need air any longer. There was no reason to go outside except to feed. Feed on what exactly? On the people I just lied to and told there was nothing to fear? We could not risk feeding on our last remaining human allies in the castle. I could not risk another feeding frenzy. This was a good time as any to call for a gathering with my father to discuss our next move.

"I need my father." I told Luka when I heard his footsteps approach me. "We need to discuss what to do next."

Luka said nothing as he sat next to me and watched me in silence. "You look exhausted. Is that possible?"

"I do not know," I avoided his eyes and thought of walls. We needed walls between us as tall as the tallest tower in the castle.

"Here," he extended his arm to me. "I believe you need to feed."

"What makes you think so?" I ignored his arm on my lap though the burning in my throat returned full force, and I felt my fangs on my lips. I kept my face hidden from him hoping he would not notice how much I wanted to take his offer.

"You are not the only one making a list, Your Highness." Out of his pocket, he procured a small book and opened it showing me a list of everything he had observed throughout the day. I did not read his observations. All I saw was his handwriting neat and intricate like its own form of art. "Do not fret. I shall keep this book close to my heart. No one will stumble upon it."

"Do you keep my dark secrets with yours?" I recalled the many times I saw him writing. He must have had many of these with all his thoughts.

"Mine are darker than yours," he sighed putting the book back in his pocket. "Feed, Your Highness. We cannot risk losing you."

"No," I shook my head and stood up. "I cannot take your blood. What if I kill you? There must an alternative."

"Perhaps," Luka stood up as well and touched my arm. "Until you find the answers, take my blood."

"No," I walked away from him to find my father and discuss our alternatives. "I refuse to take another human life."

Outside, a starry sky greeted us. Night belonged to the dead while day was for the living. I had changed back to my black attire as had everyone. We carried our dead to my garden that I tended diligently during sunny days. We all worked in silence as we laid our dead to rest. My father and I decided to bury Mother under the white roses surrounded by rosemary bushes. My name had been inspired by her favorite flower. It was fitting to bury her someplace significant to her. It also made me feel closer to her. As we stood over her grave, my father grasped my hand and held it tightly.

"I am proud of you," he whispered his eyes on the mound of dirt where my mother slept eternally under. "You have taken control of the situation when I could not. You are right. It is your turn to rule. I do not think I am capable of it. Your mother… She gave me strength. Without her, I do not know who or what I am. I do not deserve to live without her. I tore her life from her. I hear her calling my name every time I close my eyes begging to stop…"

"Please," I begged closing my eyes as well hearing the screams of the people I hurt. As we got used to our new bodies, we began to recall the night before. I began to see flashes of spilled blood, my nails tearing throats apart and drinking greedily with the warm crimson liquid dripping down from my lips to my neck. "Do not do this. Do not leave me. I cannot do this on my own."

"I would never," my father turned to me and tilted my chin up to him. "I would never leave you. Your mother would never forgive me."

I embraced him and cried in his arms. Crying was unsatisfactory for there were no tears. It was like my sorrow and pain could not properly leave my body, like my tears were physical representation of everything I felt. I would never rid myself of this pain. It would follow me through the centuries constantly weighing me down and reminding me what I no longer was: human.

Over the next few months, my father and I had endless discussions on how to proceed. Our hunger was satiated with animals. Luka and our human servants would go into town to purchase cows, pigs, and even horses. Anything with blood was welcomed as long as they were not human. I had refused human blood not only for me but for everyone under my care. At first, it had been difficult to convince them this was the best option. I convinced them simply because I appealed to their survival instinct. We could not risk another night like the First Night, as we eventually called it. We could slip and slaughter the town and hiding that would be harder. Nearby kingdoms would eventually hear of it, and we would be at risk.

I wondered if discovery would be so bad. A swift and quick end would spare my loved ones this torture. Feeding on animals was unsavory and their blood simply did not taste the same or quenched our bloodlust. But we had to do whatever possible to keep our secret which was getting harder as time went by. Our human allies were our spies; our eyes and ears in town during the day. There were whispers of the Mazurs' strange behavior. The people had not seen or heard from us since the day I convinced them Istanbul was safe. The unusual and rather large purchases of animals were becoming harder to hide. We needed a new plan and fast as the risk of discovery increased.

There was nothing to do. We had no idea how to break the curse. Tatiana was gone. We could not force her to break her spell. All that was left was to survive another day. I had taken to pace the tallest tower on the east side of the castle where I could think out loud, but I could see the town from up here longing to be part of that world. Fire lit and warmed the homes of our people, who remained oblivious to the horrors lurking in the Mazur castle. I soon learned they were not oblivious. I learned they secretly were moving against us plotting our downfall.

* * *

 **AN: So, they haven't been chased away from Istanbul yet. It's coming though! I promise the backstory is coming to an end, and we can finally get to the good part ;) I have written up until chapter six and currently working on seven, so just a heads up I might update frequently over the next few days. Thanks for all the support. Don't forget to vote on my poll to change the name of the story. I will keep it up until we reach chapter six. Thanks for your reviews, follows, and faves. Let me know what you thought of this!**


	6. Lies

Chapter Five: Lies

I contemplated my fate as I did every night my eyes glued to the town bright and alive. The people we ruled over had always been far away from me. Now, they might as well be across an ocean. I could never mingle with them and converse. When Lissa and I traveled to the bazaar for fabrics for new gowns, the people around us bowed respectfully for my status, but I could tell I was a nuisance. Their routines were momentarily interrupted by my presence. Back then, I had no choice but stay away from the common people because I was supposed to be better than them. I did not understand how I could rule them, how I could understand what they needed when I was supposed to be different? My blood was different from theirs. How true it turned out to be?

"I knew you would be here," Lissa interrupted my thoughts wrapping her arms around my waist and kissing my cheek.

"You know me too well," I turned to give her a small smile.

"Yes," she moved to stand next to me leaning over the ledge and gazing at the town with me. "I know you like the back of my hand, or I thought I did."

I turned to meet her eyes with a frown. "Of course you do, Liss."

Lissa shook her head. "Not anymore. You hide from me. From everyone. You are always up here brooding. Why? This is not healthy. You ought to be with your loved ones."

"Spending our last moments on this Earth together?" I pushed away from the ledge and took to pacing the tower hugging my arms not to warm myself but to keep me from falling apart. "I have a terrible feeling."

"I thought you said we do not feel?" This time Lissa frowned confused tilting her head to the side.

"We do not seem to be capable of forming new feelings, but I think old feelings linger. I know I love you. I know what that love feels like, and I will continue to feel it and protect you. However, I cannot love…"

"Luka," Lissa smiled sadly crossing her arms. "You hide from me, but he cannot. I see the way he looks at you whenever you are in the room. I saw it in my parents long ago. The way my father looked at my mother is the most precious memory I have."

"How did he look at her?" I wondered standing next to her and watching her intently wishing to hear the tale of epic love. My parents had one, but they hardly shared it with me. They hardly expressed their love in public because such passions were supposed to be private, so I had nothing to compare Luka's affections to. He was different; I do not think anyone compared to him.

Lissa shrugged. "I cannot describe it. My father… He looked at my mother like he had never seen her before even though he saw her day in and day out. It was like my mother was the very sun, and he was a blind man seeing it for the first time."

"One day," I whispered looking at the town in the distance. "One day, you and I will have that, Lissa. I promise."

"I prefer you promise you will stop hiding from me," she rested her hand on top of mine. Our skin was the same color and temperature now. Before, I was told by my admirers my skin was the color of almonds while Lissa's was porcelain. "I am your best friend, remember? You can tell me anything. Including your undying love for Lord Belikov."

"No," I sighed out of habit. "I do not love him. I do not think so. Perhaps I do… As a friend. Love for a friend is all I have to compare what we have, but I do not think we had time to even develop that. He kissed me before the witch was burned."

"Scandalous," Lissa's eyes went wide, and she giggled against her hand. "How did it feel?"

"I do not know, Liss," I threw my head back and groaned frustrated. "I cannot express the feeling with words. Words are not enough. I have nothing to compare the kiss to, if that tells you anything."

"Of course. He was your first kiss, Rose," she rested her hand on my shoulder to show her support. "It must have meant the world. I am sorry you two cannot be. You must be relieved he is departing."

"What?" I turned to her surprised by the revelation Luka was leaving. "I was under the impression he would stay. He told me so."

"See," Lissa walked towards the stairs and said over her shoulder. "If you did not hide up here all the time, you would know this. He leaves for Russia soon."

I looked at the ground once again wrapping my arms around myself. "I am relieved, yes. He must miss home."

"I wished you would say that to my face and not the ground," Lissa said quietly. "But you know I would see in your face the lie. You say we do not feel and that, Your Highness, is another lie."

I heard her descend the stairs and turned back to my brooding as she called it. Luka was leaving. He was finally leaving me. I wondered if he would eventually tell me, or if he would simply vanish without a farewell. He did not owe me a farewell. Perhaps it was painful for him to face me. I placed my hand on my chest where my heart murmured and closed my eyes. I thought about Luka gone. I thought of never seeing his eyes again. I thought of never hearing his voice calling my name in that haunting accent of his. Nothing. My heart continued to beat as slow as it had been since my awakening.

"You are the liar, Lissa," I whispered into the night and turned to leave my tower.

A shadow crept towards me, and I jumped back in shock. With my senses heightened, no one took me by surprise. I heard footsteps and heartbeats from far away. How did this thing manage to slip so close to me? There was my answer. This thing was not human. It was literally a shadow as if darkness itself had taken the shape of a person. The shadow did not touch the ground and simply floated. I stood motionless watching the thing watch me. Could it watch me? I could not tell if it had eyes or a mouth. However, when it spoke, I assumed it at least had a mouth or at least a voice.

"Go," the shadow said, and if I could I would have shivered at its sinister, otherworldly voice. "Find it. Find it."

"Go where?" I frowned trying to decipher the voice. It sounded familiar somehow. "Find what?"

"Your soul," the voice echoed in the tower. "He has your soul. Your humanity. Find him."

I opened my mouth to say more but just as it appeared, the shadow dissolved leaving me with questions. The most important being, had I imagined the shadow? If not, what exactly did it what me to find? My soul. My humanity. How was I supposed to do that? _Find him_ , it said. Find whom? If this shadow had been trying to help me, it simply left me with more questions and no way of finding the answers, which died with Tatiana and now dissolved with the friendly shadow. Shaking my head, I made my way down the stairs. I felt the sun coming, so I had to hide in the dungeons were there was no possibility of bursting into flames. The irony and twisted humor of fate did not escape me. Before my awakening, I loved the sun, now I dread its arrival and wished it was eternally night. Night was better than spending all day staring at four walls in the dim lighting. As part of our survival, I had ordered the dungeons to be turned into our living quarters during the day. Tunnels were created from there to the edge of our kingdom as precaution in case, well, anything went awry.

Deep in my thoughts of dungeons and shadows, I heard footsteps but paid no mind to them. I assumed it was Lissa though I should have known better. Out of a crowd, I could pick out his heartbeat. Luka collided with me and barely caught himself before falling over me. I stifled a laugh. Humans were slowly becoming amusing to observe. I liked to watch them wondering if I had been the same way and longing for the old days. His hands rested on my forearms as he steadied himself and took a step back bowing deeply as he stood one step below me.

"My apologies, Your Highness," he straightened up and kept his hands behind his back. "Vasilisa informed me you would be here."

"Yes," I responded straightening the skirt of my dress and tucking my hair behind my ear.

"I… I wanted an audience with you," Luka stammered nervously his heart beating faster with every word. I wrapped my arms around me once more knowing full well what was coming next. I nodded silently granting him the audience he sought. "I am returning to Russia. I have been summoned by the tsar. He is anxious to hear of my progress with your kingdom. I have been delaying him with letters promising our kingdoms would be united in eternal peace, but I cannot deny him any longer. I must go."

"You need not explain yourself to me," I looked out the window unable to meet his gaze. I did not want to look into his eyes knowing this was the last time I would. Instead, I thought of walls all around me keeping us apart. "I understand your duty calls you as mine does. I only hope you can keep my family's dark secret with you."

"I would never betray you, Ro- Your Highness," he amended quickly. "Your secret shall die with me."

"Thank you," I turned to him bowing my head in show of gratitude. Monarchs never bowed or curtsied to anyone except other members of royalty. However, Luka deserved it. He had helped my family so much, and would continue to do so by keeping our curse a secret from the tsar and others wishing to harm us. It was hard enough to keep it from our own people. Soon, I knew, we would have to deal with our neighbors and allies. But we would cross that bridge when we came to it. "I wish you safe travels."

"I am not leaving soon," he replied hastily. "I will wait until after your coronation. I was able to stall the tsar summons with that excuse. He expresses his congratulations and looks forward to your rule and forming a lasting bond between our countries."

"As do I," I kept my eyes lowered hating my weakness for his eyes. I had to get away before I fell apart. "Now, if you will excuse me…"

"Rose," Luka raised his arms as if to touch me but thought better of it lowering them at his sides. It was then I noticed he was trembling. "Will you at least look at me? Please."

I licked my lips and slowly met his eyes. I knew it was a mistake. The pain in them was palpable as they glistened with tears. Luka Belikov was a strange man. He carried his heart on his sleeve and his eyes. There was no fear in him speaking his mind and his feelings. I had yet to meet a man so secure in his male status but able to submit himself to vulnerability and ridicule. I wished to be like him able to feel as passionately and as freely as he did. And I would miss him in the years to come.

"This is not easy," he whispered wiping his unshed tears with his trembling hand. "I do not have the strength to leave you, but my tsar demands it. I cannot risk him sending an army here if he even considers I may be betraying him, sharing military information. They will attack and kill you, and I cannot allow it. Please, say something."

"What would you wish me to say, Luka?" I whispered too unable to trust my voice. My eyes burned with sorrow. "I cannot and will not change your mind. I have told you many times we cannot be. We could not be in the past, and we cannot be in the future. Besides, your duty is to go to your tsar. I am eternally grateful…"

He closed the distance between us and claimed my lips effectively crumbling the walls I struggled so hard to put between us. My first kiss with him had been slow barely a whisper that had left me trembling with fear and anticipation wishing for more. This time, he claimed me hungrily. His tongue massaged my lower lip, and I could taste him. He tasted of life, like sunshine and honey. He tasted of everything good and right in the world. But at the end, I was still a monster. I felt his heart on his lips; the pulsating blood I had deprived myself of for months. He hissed as my fangs protruded piercing his lower lip.

"I apologize," I pulled away from him the moment his blood touched my lips. I leaned against the window pressing my forehead against the glass. My reflection showed me what I was with my red eyes glowing and white fangs shinning under the moonlight. I closed my eyes and willed myself to calm down as the taste of his sweet blood on my tongue remained haunted me even after it was gone, even after he was gone.

"No need to apologize," Luka pressed his finger against the wound and chuckled. "I suppose I deserved it. You did say this would never happen again."

"Then why did you?" I whispered keeping my forehead against the glass. "Why did you kiss me?"

"Because I have spent the past months trying and failing to forget you," he stood next to me his hand on my shoulder. "I did try to push my feelings away. You say we can never be with or without this curse, but I think that is a lie. We can be. You can come with me."

"I cannot leave my people," I replied turning to face him my fangs gone. "You know this. Your loyalty is to your tsar, and mine is to my father and my people."

Luka shook his head and turned me to face him completely both of his hands on my forearms gripping them tightly. "Tell me you love me, tell me we can be together, and my loyalty will be to you and not my tsar. Not your crown, not your kingdom. My loyalty will be forever to you. I promise together we will find a solution. It is time you allow yourself to be happy. You deserve all the happiness, Rose."

"I cannot," I touched his cheek and he leaned against my palm his eyes closing. "I cannot love you. I cannot feel."

"Lies," he said fervently closing the distance between us again pressing our foreheads together. "You lie to yourself, Rose. You tell yourself you cannot feel to protect your heart. To make your choice of staying and being without me acceptable and less hurtful."

"Luka…" I began trying to make him understand I truly felt nothing. But our feelings, or lack of them, were put aside when out of the corner of my eye I saw the torches. "What is happening?"

Luka followed my eyes, and he cursed in his language. A group of people made their way from the town carrying torches, pitchforks, knives, and anything they could use as a weapon. From up here, I heard their chanting like that night they demanded justice. They demanded salvation from the wickedness of evil. I wondered if they brought another witch to burn, and I began to plan ways to deal with the commotion. Even after I reassured Tatiana would not harm them again, my people were still afraid of witches, and they constantly demanded the king's attention to deal with the problem. Luka had ventured to town many times to placate them with promises that upon my coronation, things would change. I never imagined my ascension would be met with such hatred causing the people to rebel and seek reasons to rid themselves of the future Queen.

"They are here for you," Luka turned to me eyes wide with panic.

"How do you know?" I frowned and feared treachery. I was beginning to turn into my father seeing traitors in the shadows, but I eventually realized to survive, I had to assume the worse of people.

"There were whispers in town… People suspected your family was involved in witchcraft. The animals, the lack of activity during the day, they claim your family are witches too." He explained quickly grabbing my hand and leading me down the stairs. "They claim Tatiana has cursed your mother, and now you and your family consort with witches to save her like Tatiana did before."

I pulled my hand back and stopped descending. "And you failed to mention this? Why?" I shouted outraged.

"I thought I had taken care of it," Luka explained quickly. "I reminded them in dark times, your father was the one to lead them to the light. The whispers died down, and I thought that was the end of it. I did not think to alarm you. You already had so much on your mind."

"You should have still brought it to my attention!" I buried my hands in my hair. "We could have sped up the coronation and allowed the whole kingdom to attend. They could see with their own eyes our pretense. I would have made them believe all was well again."

"I am so sorry, Rose," Luka reached out for me, but I stepped back. "What can I do?"

"You have done enough," I turned back to the window and watched as the angry mob neared. Our time was up. I had known it all along our secret would not remain so for long. This was the horrible feeling in my stomach. I felt it the night the witch was burned; I felt things were about to change for the worst. This had nothing to do with Luka; he had done nothing wrong. If anything, he bought us more time. He gave us time to complete our tunnels as a safe way out of a situation like this. Out of the corner of my eye, I swore I saw the shadow up in the tower. I turned back to Luka. "If you wish to help me, gather everyone in the dungeons. We are leaving through the tunnels. Leave no one behind."

"As you command," Luka turned to leave, but when he realized I was not behind him, he glanced back. "Come, Rose."

"I will be down in a second," I replied as I glanced back at the tower. "There is something I must do first."

"No," he climbed the steps again and stood at my eye level once more gripping my arms. Desperation was clear in his eyes and voice. "You said to leave no one behind. You are most important to me."

"My loved ones are most important to _me_ ," I touched his cheek again and memorized his eyes. "You claim to love me, so do this for me. Please lead my loved ones to safety. I will be but a moment. I promise."

With a groan, he placed a quick kiss on my lips. "You are stubborn, Your Highness."

"I know," I chuckled humorlessly my eyes burning.

"Keep your promise, princess," he slowly walked away from me or perhaps it was my perception of the night.

One second he was there, holding my hand our fingertips the last to touch as he moved further away from me. He disappeared as he rounded a corner and I whispered my farewell in case I was wrong, and I perished. I turned slowly back towards the tower and stood on the doorway looking at every dark corner searching for the shadow. All I saw was the furniture. Down below, the voices grew louder calling for the death of the Mazurs. The castle began to tremble with the people's anger as the banged on the door. Glass shattered as they threw rocks at the windows, and my loved ones scrambled towards the dungeons with Luka leading them making sure no one was left behind. I knew I did not have long when screams tore through the halls of my home. I had to find the shadow. It had the answers, and for some reason, it decided to do so tonight. Out of all the nights I spent gazing at the town and the stars from this tower, the shadow had never come to me. It chose tonight; the night my world crumbled around me to give me a clue.

"Show yourself," I commanded it like I had commanded my people to believe my lies. This shadow was not like my people, however, because it did not appear. "Whoever you are, you chose to help me. Now, show yourself. Who am I looking for? How do I find him? Speak to me! Please! Tell me how to break this curse."

The shadow eluded me and remained hidden. A bloodbath had begun below I knew as much by the sound of the screams of the humans as they were met by the very monsters they feared. I began to turn around to help Luka and my loved ones when the shadow danced in the corner of the room. It stopped by the window and remained there as if gazing below like I did many nights. My eyes widened as recognition dawned on me. I stepped into the room nearing the shadow raising my hand as if to touch it. The glass shattered before I could, and I took a step back. Suddenly, the room was blindingly bright dissolving the shadow. The fire from the arrow caught a bookshelf sitting across the room swallowing it as well as the chair and table next to it. Like the anger and fear of the people, the fire spread through the room engulfing it in matter of seconds. I covered my eyes recoiling from the brightness against my heightened senses. I tried to make my way out of the room when a beam fell in my path showing me my destiny.

In the flames, I saw it. I saw the end to this story. I saw the end to my nightmares. The shadow had not come to give me the all the answers. It had come to make sure I was at the right place at the right time. The fire showed my destiny, and it was not with my loved ones. I was not destined to escape this fire with them. My eyes burning with sorrow, I turned away. I walked across the room ignoring the flames. They seemed unable to touch me almost seemed to part for me allowing me to reach the broken window. I looked back at the room swallowed by the flames and falling apart reflecting my life, my old life. Everything I was and would have been, was gone. This was the beginning of my new life. I prayed everyone had made it safely out and hoped to see them one day. I wished Luka good fortune and a long happy life finally away from my darkness. I closed my eyes and whispered my love for them as I jumped out of the tower. As I fell, I recalled a dream from my human life and the voice calling my name filled with gut wrenching pain. I opened my eyes and saw the tower on flames only to fade and show me a beautiful sunrise, and the sound of the waves below me.

I touched the hard ground and heard my skull among other bones break. I felt no pain though and after a few seconds, I was able to get up and walk as if nothing happened. I added that to my list as I looked around me seeing the angered mob throwing stones, torches, and firing arrows with fire at my home. Everything we had been was slowly crumbling like pastries. The Mazur legacy was gone. If I had been told a year ago this would happen, I would have laughed. No one could defeat King Mazur. No one could bring down our bloodline. We were chosen by God. A few words from a witch and the selfish wish of a silly girl brought our downfall.

I turned around and began to walk the opposite direction from the dungeons, the tunnels, and my loved ones. I did not glance back until I was under thick trees surrounding our castle. Through the foliage, I saw the flames still raging on and gaining momentum. I wondered how long it would take for it all to be ashes. I briefly considered staying until it was all gone, but I had a mission.

" _I will protect you, Rose. I promise_." Luka had said. Recalling his eyes, I almost wanted to believe his words, but the flames had shown me otherwise. Luka was a strange man with hopes, dreams, faith and love all emotions I had been deprived my whole life. The flames spoke truth and showed me my end, and it was easier for me to believe a world of suffering was waiting for me. " _You deserve all the happiness_."

"You lied, Luka," I whispered before turning away and beginning my lonely quest for my humanity, my soul, and the person who took it.


	7. Survival

Chapter Six: Survival

 _355 Years Later_

I crouch as I look down over the busy streets seeking my next victim. The icy wind whips my hair around my face as flurries of snow continue to fall upon the white land. I pull the hood of my jacket around me closer out of habit to remain hidden not because I seek warmth. I have spent centuries hiding in the dark becoming the very monster children and adults fear alike. The story of my family's downfall was passed down and carried across oceans, past language barriers, and was distorted until no one knew the truth anymore. I am the only who remembers. I am the only who carries this heavy burden in silence with no one to talk to, to share my memories and pain. I remember the balls and the grandeur of the Mazur castle alive with laughter and power. I remember living comfortably and confident nothing could touch us. No one could harm us. I remember the arrogance of my father and our people hurting those who never threatened us. I remember our fear for the unknown only to become it. I remember the First Night like it happened yesterday, and the first time my lips touched blood. I remember the sun on my skin, the rapid beating of a heart in my chest, and his warm embrace as he held me in my times of need. Above all, I remember his eyes. They haunt me reminding me of what I lost and long for: my humanity. My soul.

As I look down at the people, the city, alive with laughter and joy, I miss him the most. I wish he was still here reassuring me everything would be well. But he is long gone. Years slowly passed and I finally realized I could not and would not age. I had screamed to the Heavens cursing my fate when I realized a century later, Luka was gone. He had aged, married, had children and then perished. So I hoped. I hope he had made it alive the night my family was overthrown. I hope he lived a long happy life. I hope he kept his one promise to aid my loved ones and helped them find safety.

The flames had told me that night what I had to do. The secret to our salvation requires me to search for my soul, my humanity, which someone took. That night I was left with a sliver of hope but also more questions. I assumed Tatiana deprived us of our humanity, but the flames said otherwise. I searched far and wide for answers meeting with witches as they slowly came out of the shadows only to be snuffed out with the flames of hatred for the unknown. None could tell me what I saw in the flames. None could help me find _him._ I had tried to return to my family, but I had spent so long roaming on my own, hiding in the shadows, I did not know where to find them or if they were even alive. The humans hunted us. We became as feared and hated as the witches. We became what they called vampires: bloodsucking monsters, which came out at night to feed on the innocent. Humans rose to fight us with everything they had.

I soon learned we had weaknesses besides the sunlight. Silver is as deadly as the sun causing us extreme pain, which I never knew we were capable of feeling. I had fallen from towers, broken bones and cut myself all in hopes of ending it all. Nothing worked. Only a silver stake through the heart or sunlight exposure could truly end the existence of the vampires. The hunters were relentless hunting us and bringing us down swiftly. My race soon retreated to the shadows finding ways to fed discreetly and remain hidden. Most of us were smart enough to make the hunters believe they wiped us out. The tale of vampires and the hunters who defeated them became a myth. Fiction. Humans no longer feared us. They portrayed us in their art, films as they called it, as hideous monsters killed by a valiant human with no inhuman speed, strength, or compulsion only sheer bravery.

Their false sense of security works in my favor. I can get lost in the crowd and no one suspects I am any different from them. I can almost pretend I am human among the millions of faces in Budapest. Going from one kingdom to another became tiring. I am no longer sure of what I am looking for, so I settle in a city spending a few years in each. Budapest became my favorites cities to return every few decades or so. The city is beautiful with structures seeming to touch the very sky. People from all over the world come here to enjoy the art, music, scenery, and fashion. In Budapest, I can see how far the world I knew had come. Car, airplanes, television, electricity… To me, the city is magical.

The whole world is magical. Humans rose above their limitations and created amazing things I never knew were possible. However, among that beauty was darkness. Humans fought incessantly for land, for power, for riches. I remember when my father fought for the very same thing. I had hoped war would be left behind as humans evolved into sophisticated beings. Instead, all that evolved were their weapons and the damaged they could inflict upon others.

But how can I judge them? I am no different. Despite my best efforts to consume animal blood, I failed many times. I slipped and took lives throughout the years. Once I began to feed, I could not stop. I preferred to kill my victims than doom them to this life, if we called it life. One night, I had an epiphany. I did not want to end my life otherwise my family, if they still lived, would be doomed. I am the only one who can end the curse. I could not live off of animal blood; it weakened me and made me vulnerable to hunters. I hated taking lives to keep me fed, but I could not let them turn into vampires. My solution was to control my bloodlust. I had controlled others like Mason and the Royal Guard. But who controlled me? I decided many years ago that I did. I control myself. I feed taking small doses of blood from several humans in one night. This way, I am able to keep my strength and keep them from turning into monsters. Or so I keep telling myself. I keep justifying my actions one way or another. I must in order to survive.

The wind shifts bringing with it the smell of my dinner. I inhale sharply the metallic, life giving, and sweet smell of blood. Across the frozen river, I spot them. A couple holding hands walk throwing their heads back and laughing happily and unaware I am hunting them. The girl possesses a blonde mane reminding me painfully of my own best friend. Lissa. My eyes burn with unshed sorrow as I miss my companion. Three centuries of not seeing her come rushing forward. The memories of us playing in the garden by the white roses assault me. Her jade eyes bright with tears of joy. Her mane blowing in the wind as she ran from me.

Cursed be the witch. Cursed be this cruel fate. Cursed be my lonely existence. And cursed be my hunger. The burning in my throat defeats my sorrow. I have not fed in a week. Despite taking little from humans, I still feel guilty taking something so intimate and necessary for both of us. I try to feed less frequently. It is risky because in my hunger I may kill them. The last thing I want is to draw attention back to vampires. I would be a fool if I believe hunters are gone. They are hiding in the shadows like I am waiting for the moment one of us will slip and our war can begin again.

I will not be the one to start this battle again. I cannot allow more death in this world, so I must be careful with my feeding habits. I jump from the tower of the Parliament Building, my favorite spot to watch the people go about their business, and land firmly on the ground. With so many people in this city, I feared exposure many times, but humans are oblivious to the world around them. They prefer to ignore the supernatural confident in the power of their government to keep them safe from any threat. I remember when my people placed their hope on us. The arrangement between rulers and the people they governed is very fragile. One moment, they need us. The next, we are expendable.

Regardless, I try to be careful. I pull the hood around me tighter with a gloved hand. My boots crunch the snow and ice under them, and I smile to myself. I could easily walk down this busy street without clothes and feel nothing. But I have to keep the appearance that I am one of them even though I can hear their heartbeats and feel the warmth of their blood singing to me. Across the lake, I concentrate on the heartbeat of the couple following their movements out of the corner of my eyes keeping my head down. They converse in a different language. Despite my endless nights and days unable to sleep, I had yet to master every language. To fill my lonely days a century later, I decided to learn as many languages as I could. Melancholically, I began with Russian wishing he was here to teach me.

I shake my head to rid it of painful memories. I have to focus on my hunt. The couple round the corner and enter a restaurant filled with delicious and exotic food I would love to taste. The couple sits by the window and hold hands over the table. They smile brilliantly at each other and continue to converse. Must be nice to have a companion, but it is pointless for me to long for Luka or Lissa. I chose this. I chose to do this alone; I chose to listen to what the flames whispered to me that night. I pushed my loved ones away and now they are surely gone. I shake my head once more and remind myself to focus on the task at hand. Looking up and down the busy street and satisfied no one pays any mind to me, I jump into the icy water breaking some of the ice with my body. In a matter of seconds, I am across pulling my soaked body out of the lake. I dart to the nearest dark corner and wait for my victims to come out.

I have tasted blood intoxicated with alcohol, and I never truly developed a taste for it, but humans with their intuition numbed by liquor are easier to subdue without hurting them too much. They are easier to convince I am a dream, or a nightmare. Over the years, I realized I had a gift. All those times I thought I commanded my people with pure authority turned out to be something else. I discovered I could bend any human to my will with my voice. I did not like the ability to do so, but it got me out of trouble many times when I was spotted as I fed.

With the couple, my compulsion was unnecessary. They came out hours later I feared the sun would rise before I could feed. The wait had been worth it, however, when they exited the restaurant. Throughout their dinner, they had a bottle of wine and while they were not completely intoxicated, their senses were numbed. I followed them closely to an alley where they stopped to express their affections kissing and moaning. I watched for a second fascinated as the man pressed his body against hers with no regard for her purity or reputation. One of the many things that awed me in this new world is the way humans mingle with each other freely. Surprisingly, women can now hold a position of power in government with little opposition. I would love to be a part of this world. There was no longer a barrier keeping royalty and commoners. Monarchies went extinct with a few remaining, but if I ruled Istanbul in a time like this, I could have ruled with Luka or anyone of my choosing by my side. But dreams do not come true. Not mine at least. My wandering thoughts were overcome by their heartbeats calling my name.

His blood sings sweet melodies as I drink greedily from his arm. The girl with the golden mane rests against the wall weakened by my feeding but not dead as I work on her companion. I pull away from my victim's arm and sigh contently as the blood trickles down my chin and onto the cold pavement. I despise myself for enjoying the way the blood fills me with power and strength. Nothing made me feel more alive, if that is what I am, than blood quenching the constant burning thirst in my throat. I have known power as a princess but that was nothing. This, holding this man's life in my hands, is true and raw power. I can easily end his life and gain more power. I can be invincible and greater than life. High on power, I sink my fangs back into the man's arm and continue to drink.

"What do we have here?" A voice startles me. No human ever managed to slip past my heightened senses. My bloodlust has been getting stronger though, and I forget the rules I set for myself to survive. Now, I am at risk. The speaker is a male with bronze hair and slightly taller than me. He wears dark clothing and a heavy coat. His heartbeat tells me he is human as well as his companion. "You have been so careful up until now."

A woman steps into my line of vision pointing a crossbow at me. She moves more cautiously than the male and keeps her distance from me. Her lips curled in disgust distorting her cute features. "You talk too much, Denis. Let's kill her and claim our money."

"Now hold on," Denis holds up a hand and lowers Tamara's bow. "We can't be rude. We should hear what she has to say."

"Why?" Tamara raises her crossbow once more disregarding Denis' command. "So she can control our minds? I don't think so. I want to get out of here. Her eyes creep me out." She shivers emphasizing her disgust at my crimson eyes.

"Will you shut up," Denis turns to the girl. "And put that shit down. You still haven't learned how to use it. You'll shoot me instead if you're not careful. Now, little lady," he turns his attention back to me. "What's your name?"

I drop the man gently on the ground. My hunger is soon forgotten as my survival instincts kick in. These two are not professional hunters. The girl is correct. When it comes to vampires, do not hesitate. The best chance humans and hunters stand against us is to eliminate us as quickly as possible and ask questions later. Denis' arrogance bought me time to think of a way out that will cause the least amount of casualties. But this is the first interaction I have hand in a decade with humans since I limited to feeding from them and then vanishing into the shadows, and I miss conversation even if it is with two people attempting to kill me. However, with the fresh blood flowing through my veins, I am stronger than the hunters. I can take them down any time.

"Marie," I respond with a soft voice. I have not heard my voice in a long time. It sounds strange especially when I add the innocent and sweet tone to it. I do not sound like me. I do not sound like a bloodthirsty vampire. "My name is Marie. Please. Help me. I do not know what I am…"

"Stay back!" Tamara says forcefully her finger tightening on the trigger. "Don't move closer or I'll shot, bitch!"

"Calm the fuck down, Tamara. I swear to God…" Denis turns his back to me to argue with Tamara, who briefly turns to meet his eyes briefly. Those few seconds are all I need.

I jump on Denis' back and sink my teeth on his neck. He screams bloody murder and pleads Tamara to shot me. I drink his blood out of habit. I am no longer hungry. Survival is more important. Getting out of this situation I have carelessly put myself in is paramount. I pull away from his neck jumping on Tamara next pushing the crossbow up where it cannot harm me when she pulls the trigger. Her eyes widen in fear as I push her head against the concrete wall. She falls moaning and disoriented. With my enemies subdued, I turn around to flee from the scene of the crime. I barely make it five steps when a sharp pain on my right leg causes me to collapse on the ground.

"Bitch," Denis spits on the ground as he lowers the crossbow. His hand moves to cover the wound I left on his neck to stop the bleeding.

My vision becomes blurry as I remove the silver arrow from my leg. Damn them. I underestimated them. They may not be experienced, but they came prepared. With the silver paralyzing my leg, I struggle to get up and even when I do manage it, I limp away from the hunter. I hear the whooshing of another arrow cutting through the air, but I am not able to catch it. It buries on my shoulder, and I bite my tongue to keep from screaming. With the silver poisoning my blood, I fall down on the snow covered ground. My carelessness has brought me here. I should not have fed as long as I did on the couple. Better yet, I should have been more careful. These guys must have followed me and were simply buying their time. The chances of running into hunters out of the blue are very slim. I know my rules. I set them up to keep me safe all these centuries. I should not have toyed with them. I should have… I should have done many things, but the past is the past. The present is all that matters, and currently, I am in danger.

I lay on the ground with a blurry vision, numb senses, and blood oozing out of my nose. This is not my first exposure to silver. The first time had been two hundred years previous when the hunters were at the height of their power. Curiosity bested me, so I returned to Istanbul to see my old home and perhaps find a clue to my loved one's whereabouts. I thought no one would remember me, but I was still cautious. I covered from head to toe with a cloak and pretended to be a beggar. Back then, I was struggling with control. I had just implemented my rules of taking little blood from here and there. But I was weak and my hunger overtook me. It was exactly like tonight. I was distracted feeding when hunters took me by surprise. Only last time, I did not linger to taunt them. I took off but was grazed by a bullet dipped in silver. They were just starting to come up with weapons. I do not know how they discovered silver was deadly to us, but they used it to their advantage. Wooden stakes were replaced by silver ones, and all their weapons were soon coated with silver.

I can only imagine the advancements they have made to their weapons. Like humans, the hunters evolved while my race and I remained the same. Unchanging. Frozen in time. I cough spitting an alarming amount of blood. The black substance seeps into the snow as I groan in pain. This is it. My end. I hear Denis struggle to reload followed by throwing the crossbow on the ground. Instead, he moves towards me pushing the arrow deeper into my shoulder causing me to hiss menacingly at him. But he is sure of my downfall, so he just laughs.

"You're going to get what you deserve, bloodsucker," Denis searches in his thick coat for something. My eyes feel heavy like they have not in a long time. As if I am suddenly sleepy a memory of falling asleep looking at the moon flashes before my eyes. I am finally dying in the true sense of the word. I will not come back this time, and I feel… "Tamara! Give me your stake. I must have dropped mine."

Tamara groans getting up and tossing a silver stake to Denis, who catches it in the air. He removes the arrow and flips me over pressing the tip of his silver stake to where my heart beats as slow as it did three hundred and fifty five years ago. I feel an unknown emotion wash over me as I look at the starry sky praying to God for the first time in centuries. I pray to be reunited with my mother and Luka. I pray to see his face one last time reassuring me that death is good, death is painless, and death is my friend. Denis is suddenly frozen with his sadistic smile on his lips and blood oozing out of his chest soaking his clothing. He falls over after another muffled pop interrupts my prayer. I do not know what the sound is as my ears ring with the silver in my bloodstream. I look around me and see a figure move closer from up ahead. I cannot tell what the figure is, female or male, friend or foe. A long coat flutters around the blurred figure pointing a gun with a silencer at…

"Tamara," the voice says. "Drop the crossbow. I don't want to shoot you, but I will."

"What the hell are you doing?" Tamara shrieks panic in her voice. "You killed Denis!"

"And I will kill you if you don't listen to me," the voice stops a few feet away from me. "You and Denis have gone against our orders."

"The bitch attacked us!" Tamara shrieks pointing a finger at me still lying on the snow covered in my blood. "She bit Denis, so we had to defend ourselves."

"Your orders were not to engage, perhaps if you had listened, this wouldn't have happened," the voice says as I try hard to decipher that accent. Even though my brain is hazy, I swear I have heard that voice before, but I do not know where. "By order of the Alchemists, you are under arrest, Tamara. Put your weapon down…"

"You're a son of a bitch, Dimitri." Tamara chuckles pointing her loaded crossbow at him. "We all thought you were a God, but I see you're just a lap dog doing everything Sage tells you. You and the Alchemists are a joke."

"Then why did you join us?" Dimitri responds with a laugh of his own. I want to be in on the joke. Dying is not a matter of laughter, but I suppose since they are not the ones poisoned by silver it could be. I decide to take advantage of their banter. Slowly, I begin to crawl away from them while trying my best to continue listening to their conversation and learn as much as possible on this new world.

"Because we wanted to kill vampires! The Guardians offered us money for the bitch, and a chance at being one of them." Her finger on the trigger trembles, and I am sure she will shot Dimitri.

Dimitri shakes his head. "The hunters would have never accepted you or Denis. You're too weak. Look at you. You're trembling. It's best if you put your weapon down, and I will tell the committee you cooperated. Perhaps they'll be merciful."

"Like hell," Tamara scoffs. "I'm killing you and the bloodsucker."

"I'm afraid that's not happening," Dimitri growls. His voice had remained calm and full of authority as he spoke with Tamara, but his tone changed dramatically at Tamara's threats. He squeezes the trigger on his gun without blinking or missing a beat. Three muffled pops go off followed by the thud of Tamara's body hitting the ground. I take the chance to get away.

I use the wall to stand up and will myself to move fast and far from the scene. However, I do not make it three steps before I fall back down face on the snow. I hear his footsteps moving towards me. His heavy boots crunching the ice until he crouches next to me. He does and says nothing for a second, and I fear the worst. With one hand, he flips me onto my back, and I try to blink away the blurriness in my vision. As he moves closer, the street lamps manage to give me a glimpse of my hero. His eyes take my breath away.

"Luka," I whisper.

His face gives nothing away as he picks me up in his arms effortlessly. "My name is Dimitri, and I'm here to take you away, Your Highness."

* * *

 **AN: Thanks for reading and those who have voted on the poll, which is now closed. The new title of this story will be** Breath of Life **which I do think represents the story better and carries on with the B titles for my VA stories lol. I am changing the title later, so next update you receive will be with the new title so be warned! And finally we have some Dimitri! I am so excited to work on their interaction and relationship so stay tuned! Thanks again!**


	8. Familiar Stranger

Chapter Seven: Familiar Stranger

Dimitri carries me through dark alleys for several blocks and remains silent as he moves stealthily almost blending in with the very shadows. Every so often, a lamp post provides enough light for me, in my poisoned state, to catch a glimpse of my unlikely hero. He possesses a well defined jaw framed by his dark hair cascading to his chin. Perfect shaped lips form a hard and determined line as he looks up and down a street searching for enemies before crossing it. Thick eyebrows furrow in concentration as his eyes focus on taking me to safety. Under me, I feel his strong and rock hard arms carrying me gently yet securely as if I am precious cargo. I am sure; however, these arms can demolish an opponent quite easily. I wonder how he would fare against me. Dimitri mentioned an organization I had never heard of before: the Alchemists. Judging by how well armed Dimitri and the others were I am sure the Alchemists are hunters as well. These Alchemists must have a different goal or purpose if they were not supposed to engage with me. I believe he and I would be equally matched, though. If he is a hunter, or is part of a hunter organization, and he has survived this long hunting vampires then he can hold his own against me.

But I have no reason to hurt Dimitri. Not yet. For some reason, which I plan to find out, he has rescued me from people he knew, and by the way his eyes remain alert, I am sure he is not supposed to be taking me away to wherever he is taking me. If I was not still poisoned by silver and not interested in this familiar stranger, I would have already ran far away to another city and not return in another decade or more. However, I know this man, or at least it feels like I do. Dimitri's eyes are hauntingly similar to… No. I cannot think of sentimental memories. I must remain focused on staying alive. Even though Dimitri knows who I am and seems determined to help me, I cannot let my guard down. He is still a hunter, and I am still a vampire. I am the reason vampires exist. I am sure the hunters, and perhaps others, will pay a fortune for my death. Perhaps his plan is to turn me in himself and claim all the glory. There is no point in conjuring scenarios in my mind. Soon enough, I am sure I will find out just who Dimitri is and what he wants with me.

After several more minutes of him running through alleys, Dimitri stops in front of an old building. The street is far away from the center of the lively city of Budapest as there is hardly any sign of life on this long street lined by looming dark buildings. A couple street lamps work giving a lot of dark places for criminals or people like me to hide. I add this place to my list of places to come back to in a few years. That is if I survive tonight or should I say day. My skin tingles with the tell tale sign of the rising sun. It is like my very skin longs to feel the warmth of the sunshine. There is about three more hours of freedom before I must hide. I wonder where Dimitri is taking me as he goes around the crumbling and old building. On the side is a sliding, rusty, metal door kept closed with some chains. Dimitri looks up and down the street before finally resting his eyes on me for the first time since he picked me up from the alley where I laid bleeding into the snow.

His eyes meet mine and everything around me fades. I forget who and what I am. I forget I am poisoned by his weapons. I forget he killed two humans to bring me here. I forget I know nothing about him. There is only his eyes intensely looking into mine, and I feel bare. I feel as if I am standing naked in front of him and all my secrets and sins are written all over my skin, but there is no judgment or hatred in them. His eyes are a gentle, warm brown and I forget to breathe, though I do not need to, and I swear the beating of my heart is erratic. But that is not possible. What I hear is his heart and that sound snaps me out of my strange thoughts. The wound has left me weak, and I need to feed again. I close my eyes feeling the hunger and bloodlust begin to overtake me. However, Dimitri must have caught a glance of my bright red eyes because he clears his throat seeming to snap out of his own thoughts, whatever they were, as he gazed down at me.

"Can you stand, Your Highness?" His voice is a barely audible whisper but even then I can hear his accent. Russian. I determine by the way he says my title. Even though it has been three centuries since I was addressed that way, I can still hear Luka's accent echoing in my mind. What are the odds that Russians have come to my aid twice now?

"Yes," I whisper back as I begin to squirm to be let down. I can feel the despair burning in my eyes as I long for my old life and my loved ones. I cannot stand the despair and like all these years I lament not being able to cry this pain away.

Dimitri nods and sets me down gently. I stumble a little but manage to hold onto the wall. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Dimitri's arms extended out towards me ready to catch me should I fall. But the poison is almost out of my system. My eye sight has returned as well as my hearing. If I make it through the day, I shall feed again tonight to be back in top shape. I lean against the wall with my eyes closed still as the thought of blood crosses my mind once more. Dimitri says nothing though he watches me for a few more seconds before digging through the pockets of his long coat. As he does so, I inspect him. The leather, brown coat falls to his combat boots. He wears a plain black shirt with black pants. I suppose working as a hunter, clothing choices are limited. It makes sense to blend in with the shadows though the coat is an odd choice in my opinion. Out of his pocket, he manages to pull out ring with many keys one of which is for the chains. The door creaks open the noise echoing in the building disrupting the night. I look up and down the street. I will not make the mistake again of not noticing my surroundings. However, how clever could I possibly be as Dimitri motions with his hand for me to go in first?

Not very clever as I step into the darkness. I convince myself this is the only way to find answers to the many questions rattling around my brain as Dimitri slides the door behind us and uses the chains to lock it up from the inside. I blink rapidly adjusting to the darkness and suddenly I can see clearly a set of spiral stairs. I look up and see the stairs stretch all the way up to the top of the building. Suddenly, there is more light in the confined room. I turn to see Dimitri holding a flashlight in his hand.

"I'm afraid we must go all the way to the top. If you can't walk…"

"I can walk," I cut him off making my way towards the stairs. I hate feeling helpless. I have not felt this way in so long like I need someone to fight my battles or constantly watch my every movement. I grimace and stop once I climb the first step. From behind me, I hear Dimitri sigh.

"I don't mind carrying you, Your Highness," he stands next to me with his hand stretched out offering me the flashlight, so I can light his way up as he carries me.

"I said I can walk. I do not need your assistance," I tilt my chin up in defiance and begin the struggle of climbing the next step. I make it five more before Dimitri sighs again and takes me into his arms again without asking permission. "Put me down at once! How dare you?"

"My apologies," he says without a hint of remorse. "I have somewhere to be, and at this rate, we will be here the whole day and then some."

"Then why ask if I am capable of walking if you are going to do as you please?" I roll my eyes.

"As a courtesy," he shrugs and begins to climb the stairs swiftly. "Your Highness." He adds at the end.

"Stop calling me that," I sigh. "No one has called me that in a long time."

"You are a princess, as far as I know," Dimitri says without breaking a sweat as he takes the stairs two at a time.

"I am princess of nothing," I mutter darkly my eyes seeing the torches and the hatred of the people we ruled. "Perhaps I am the princess of death as that is all I bring."

Dimitri says nothing until we reach the top. He sets me down gently again and pulls out another key that unlocks a door. This time, he does not motion me in. Instead, he looks down at me again his eyes gazing deep into the soul I do not possess. "You are a princess. I have been instructed to treat you with the outmost respect."

"Please," I look away and stare at the floor. "I know all about duty and loyalty, but if you have any respect for my title, then you have no option but heed my command. Do not address me as Your Highness or princess or any of those titles which bring nothing but despair to me. I am Rose. Just Rose."

"Fine," he concedes after a few more seconds of looking at me with no sign of emotion on his face. I recall giving commands to the Royal Guard and Mason. They always responded with a low bow and unreadable masks much like Dimitri.

He motions with his hand for me to step into the room. I am met by a dark hallway leading into a room. Dimitri steps in after me in the cramped space he reaches behind me for the switch. His fingers caressing a loose strand of my hair as he flips it bathing the room in light. Dimitri says nothing else as he ventures deep into his living quarters, I assume. I hear him fumble with something followed by the sound of curtains drawing closed. I limp deeper as well inspecting the area. The walls are bare and gray, and the floor is marble. To my right is a small kitchen equipped with cooking utensils, a stove, and countertops and cupboards on each side. In the main room, I find Dimitri messing with the curtains making sure no sunlight streams in when the sun finally rises in a few more hours. A small chandelier hangs from the ceiling over a couple leather couches with a small coffee table in the middle. A bookshelf covers the wall to my left filled to the brim with books many of which look worn as if they have been read many times over. A door ahead must lead to a bedroom.

"You must be hungry," he comments shrugging his coat off clearly satisfied with the curtains.

I hiss at the sight of the silver stake on his belt, and I back up until I hit the wall. My fangs protrude again and my eyes must glisten red. Dimitri's jaw twitches and he tenses up realizing he is trapped in a small room with a threatened vampire. He slowly reaches for the stake without taking his eyes from mine. He sets the stake down on the coffee table and steps away from it with his arms raised showing he means no harm.

"I mean no harm, Yo- Rose," even though I can hear his heart beating fast, his face shows no fear. "I'm here to help you. I promise."

"I have been promised that before by other people," I murmur and whether I believe him or not, I will myself to calm down. My fangs retract a few seconds later and my body relaxes as does his.

"I'm not like other people," he says firmly. "I keep my promises. Now," he sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "As I was saying, you must be hungry. No. I'm not offering my blood, but…" He moves towards the kitchen where he opens a fridge in the corner and to my surprise pulls out two hefty bags of blood. My mouth waters at the sight of the life giving substance. "I'm not sure…"

"Just give it," I roll my eyes as I see his struggle. He is unsure how I will feed out of the bag. "I stole a few bags of blood from a hospital a few years ago. It does not taste the same, but it will do."

Dimitri hands me the bags, and I sink my teeth into the first one drinking greedily. I close my eyes enjoying the strength the blood gives me. The wound on my leg and shoulder heal as I move onto the second bag. I feel the liquid trickling down my chin and soaking my torn and filthy shirt. Soon enough, I must steal more clothing or my appearance will stick out when I wander the streets at night. A negative, or positive depending on one's point of view, to never aging, I am still eighteen but at simple glance, many people would think I am younger. The last thing I would need is humans thinking I am lost teenager and try to help only to end up becoming dinner. However, I am getting ahead of myself. I have yet to find out why Dimitri helped. Who sent him to help is the real question. I open my eyes and find him leaning against the kitchen counter looking up at the ceiling.

I slowly become more self-aware and embarrassed I fed in front of him. I am a monster there is no hiding from a hunter like Dimitri. Still, I should have gone somewhere else to feed. I wipe my mouth with the sleeve of my shirt in an attempt at looking less disgusting, but I know there is no hiding from that either. I must be a sight. I have not bathed in a long time, I usually do to rid of blood stains. Though I am dead, my hair and nails have continued to grow. Nails are easy to keep trimmed and presentable, but my hair has been harder to upkeep. I have yet to manage cutting my hair without butchering it. Without help from anyone has been harder. One of the drawbacks of having grown up in a time period when I could not do it on my own because I had people to do it all for me. My clothes are torn and smell of death. So I cannot imagine what possessed him to turn his eyes on me.

He pushes away from the counter and steps into my personal space. There is no emotion on his face, something I have come to accept as him being guarded. I cannot blame him after all I am a stranger, but I think Dimitri does not do much of expressing his feelings at all. It must be a hunter trait. No, it is a Dimitri trait. Regardless of his stoic mask, his eyes show curiosity. He looks me over and slowly I see his left hand reaching up for me. His thumb grazes the corner of my mouth where I must have smudged blood. The air feels thick with tension. Not sure what kind. Not sure if he is tense I might attack him. I am not sure if I am tense he will attack me. I have not had human interaction except for my feeding times, so I do not know if his eyes on my lips is normal.

Suddenly a beeping sound cuts through the tension, and I gasp for the air I do not require. But his very scent is in my nostrils. Not the smell of his blood, but the smell of him. Dimitri steps back and pulls out a device out of his pants. A cell phone. He flips it open.

"Eddie," he begins moving towards the windows and peeking out through a small crevice. "I assume you took care of the bodies?"

"Yes," the person on the other side, Eddie, responds firmly. "We took Tamara and Denis back to headquarters, and the humans have been taken care of. They won't remember a thing. What happened?"

"I will brief you and Sydney later," Dimitri pinches the bridge of his nose as he leans against the window. "I'm heading back to headquarters too."

"Did she escape?" Eddie asks and in the background I hear doors slamming.

"Yes," Dimitri answers without hesitation though he finally looks at me. "I pursued, but she managed to slip away. She's wounded though. I'm sure she won't get too far. We'll find her again tonight."

"With you tracking her," Eddie chuckles. "We sure will. I'm just pissed Denis and Tamara compromised so many years of you searching for her. You'll find her again, I'm sure."

" _We_ will find her," Dimitri amends this time avoiding my eyes.

"I can't believe we're this close," Eddie sounds overly excited. "The Mazur Princess. Our superiors will be pleased…"

"Eddie," Dimitri cuts him off firmly. "We'll talk later."

"Yes," Eddie clears his throat. "I'll see you at headquarters, sir."

"Sure," Dimitri flips the phone closed and shoves it back in his pocket. He reaches for his coat slipping into it again and putting the stake back on his belt. "I have to go."

"Go where?" I narrow my eyes on him. I did not like the conversation. I did not like The Alchemists know who I am. "You cannot go anywhere without explaining a few things."

"There's no time right now," Dimitri shakes his head. "I will explain, but right now, I have to go make sure no one knows where you are and won't know for a while."

"Why?" I step in front of him. "Why are you doing this? Who are you? Who hired you to find me? How do you know who I am?"

"This is what we don't have time for," Dimitri sighs though I can see a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. I am overjoyed he finds me amusing. "All your questions will be answered as best as I can just not right now."

I grip the collar of his coat and step closer to him. "Do not forget who I am, Dimitri."

"You've told me to forget who you are?" He arches an eyebrow. "You can't have it both ways, Rose. Either you're royalty or you're not."

"I mean," I allow my fangs to come out. "Do not forget I am the monster of nightmares."

His mouth turns downwards in a fleeting moment of sadness, and his eyes look at me, but I can tell he is far away. "You're not the monster of my nightmares. There are worse nightmares to have with all due respect."

I release the grip on his coat after a few more seconds of assessing him. There is honesty in his eyes, one of the few emotions I can decipher and I am familiar with. With a sigh of defeat, I step aside. "I will wait for your return, but you will answer my questions."

"I'll try," he strides towards the door his hand freezing on the handle as he turns to look at me. "I don't know how long it will take me to clean up this mess. The curtains will keep sunlight out, and there's more blood in the fridge. You're welcome to go into my closet if that makes you feel safer. There's also a pile of clothes in the bathroom for you, if you'd like to clean up. I will return as soon as possible. Please stay inside and don't open the door to anyone."

"Are you expecting someone?" I arch my own eyebrow.

"No," he shakes his head for emphasis. "This whole building is abandoned. No one knows where I live, and while I was careful bringing you here, I just want to make sure you'll be safe."

"I am not safe anywhere," I cross my arms my usual way of keeping myself whole. "I have not been safe in a long time."

"You're safe now, Rose," he turns the door knob keeping his eyes on mine. "I promise."

"Wait!" I call out as he stands on the door way. "Have… Have we met before? I feel…"

"No. No, we haven't, Rose." Dimitri shuts the door, and I hear the key turn.

I am alone in the home of a stranger, whom I swear I have met before despite his denial. I run my hands through my hair and wonder when I became so careless when feeding. If I had stayed focus on only taking a little from my victims and kept my bloodlust under control, I would not be here. I would not have met Dimitri. Though hearing he has been searching for me, perhaps it was simply a matter of time before we met. My mind comes back to the million questions without answers. I throw my head back and groan wondering how long before Dimitri returns to satiate my burning curiosity. There is no reason to wait around for him, so I decide to listen to his advice and venture into his bedroom.

Even though I do not need light to see, my hand still searches for the light switch on the wall. I do not want to miss anything as I look in his room. On the right, is a window the curtains are drawn even nailed to the wall to keep the sunlight permanently out. If I had not heard his heart beat in his chest, steady and alive, I would think Dimitri is a vampire. I chuckle. No, he is simply a hunter. He goes out at night and likely sleeps during the day. A large bed with gray, silk sheets sits in the middle of the room. The walls are the same color as the living room, gray. Gray. He likes dark colors. To the left are two doors next to each other. I assume one leads to the bathroom and the other to the closet he promised I could hide in. I open the first door and find the closet. I flip a switch and illuminate the spacious room filled with a few boxes labeled in Russian.

Dark clothing hangs neatly arranged by shirts, pants, and several long coats in different shades of brown, black, and gray. I shake my head at his predictability and unusual preference for darkness. If I was him, I would live life in color. So many centuries in the darkness has me craving some color, some semblance of life. I step out of the closet and venture into the bathroom where, as he said, I find a box with clothes. Dark colors of course because what else would I expect of him? I know I should not be so judgmental of the man who is helping me. It makes sense to live in the darkness when he hunts monsters lurking in the shadows. I start pulling out a couple of long sleeve shirts, pants, a couple of sweaters, and several undergarments with tags still attached to them. If I was still a princess and human, I would be blushing imagining Dimitri shopping for undergarments for me. With a small smile on my lips picturing him lost and unsure what to get, I decide to clean up.

I let the water run, not caring for the temperature as it does not make a difference, over me. I have not felt this peaceful in a long time. Even though I do not know Dimitri more than five minutes, I trust him when he said I am safe now. I can tell he is very capable with the way he dealt with Tamara and Denis. Then that ruthlessness in which he disposed of two humans without remorse, as far as I could tell, unsettles me. He can easily dispose of me and not even blink. I shake my head and shut the water off. I cannot assume anything just yet. I will wait for him to return and answer my questions. I will remain alert for any sign of deceit, and I will determine just how trustworthy Dimitri is. In the mean time, I should try to find some information on him while he is gone. I have his home to search for an indefinite amount of time, so it is time to get to work.


	9. Blurred Lines

Chapter Eight: Blurred Lines

Dimitri

I wonder how I got here. Not just physically but in the grand scheme of things. One day I'm sitting in the small kitchen of my home drinking coffee with Babushka hearing tales of our family. Years later, I'm in the same room as _her_. Life has a twisted sense of humor. Before I know it, I'm outside with my forehead pressed against the metal door and the cold winter wind hitting me harshly. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding and breathe in the smell of smoke, piss and decay. Somehow though, her pleasant scent lingers above all. She smells of tulips, lemongrass, and blood. The last part doesn't bother me. It's part of who she is, and I can never bring myself to hate a single part of her. Hating her is like hating myself; we're like two peas in a pod. I shudder as I recall being close to her my eyes glued to her lips as I wondered what it would be like to kiss them. Even covered in blood, I bet they taste like peaches or something just as ridiculously romantic. I chuckle. I have always been a hopeless romantic. But there's no time for that.

With one last look at the building, I make my way to the street all the while praying silently she will be fine. The sun is on the horizon slowly rising bathing the once dark street in light and hope of a better day. By this time, I'm usually in bed, so I have never seen my neighbors. A couple of kids rush out to play in the snow before heading for school. A group of men make their way down the street talking in hushed tones trying hard to wake up and make it through another day of work. I keep my head down and walk past them without a word. They ignore me, and I'm thankful for that. I wouldn't want any of them to pay attention to me because if someone were to start asking questions I would stand out like a sore thumb. I meant what I told Rose. Neither The Alchemists nor The Guardians know where I live; they haven't found out in the two years I've resided in Budapest working with The Alchemists and searching for her. I'd like to keep my living quarters a secret especially now that she's with me. Keeping her hidden from The Guardians and The Alchemists has never been more important.

Out on the main street, I hail a cab. While the snow and the cold don't bother me, growing up in Russia with winters longer and harsher than Budapest's, I must get to The Alchemist headquarters soon and put this mess behind me, behind Rose. Rose. I settle in the backseat and pull out the familiar journal I keep with me at all times. It's important. It's everything I have of her. I caress the worn spine of the beat up book. I've read it many times since I was a child entrusted with keeping the secrets of our family. As the oldest and only male, my duty is to help in any way I can to end the curse. But things got twisted and confusing somewhere along the way. People's motives changed, choices made led to mistakes, and here I am following an organization that hasn't done anything for my family or me. The Alchemist mantra, _they come first_ is selfish and not something I live by. I remember The Alchemists used to stand for something else; they used to mean something entirely different to me and my family. Since the Sages took over, nothing has been the same. The Guardians aren't any better. They have always been ruthless and unforgiving towards vampires, but lately they're harder to work with and control. I sigh and look out the window at the city coming to life.

In the distance, I catch a glimpse of the Parliament Building with the sunrise behind it looking like a magical castle straight out of a fairytale. Seems like a lifetime ago I rescued Rose from Tamara and Denis a couple of blocks away. I have been actively searching for her since eighteen. Six years of following stories and rumors of the vampire princess that often times led nowhere and other times I found faint clues of her. I clench my fists on top of the journal and silently curse Tamara and Denis for jeopardizing my mission. If I had lost her again, I don't know what I would have done. But I didn't. She's safe, and I'm closer to finishing my assignment.

The taxi comes to a stop in front of an unmarked building. I tuck the precious journal back in my duster, thank the driver, and pay him generously before stepping out. Standing outside, I stretch my sore limbs and as always feel the heavy burden on my shoulders. Carrying secrets and hidden motives for years takes its toll. In the end, I know it will be worth it to end this nightmare. I square my shoulders and shake my head as if to rid it of dark thoughts. I can't think of the nightmares or visions as Babushka calls them. I have a role to play. Striding forward with purpose, I push the revolving doors open and enter the foyer with warmth hitting my cold skin immediately.

From top to bottom, the foyer is decorated in different shades of red, the color of blood and life. A high ceiling with a magnificent chandelier, rugs imported from Egypt, a grand piano to the left of the main stairwell, and fine leather couches adorn the foyer. The Alchemists purchased this building when Jared Sage took over twenty years ago and disguises our headquarters as an exclusive hotel. To my right is a pair of ceiling high glass doors leading to a grand bar with ample space and stage offering live shows every weekend. To my left, a restaurant serves expensive, five star meals that pay for our true purpose of protecting humans from vampires and vampires from humans. I head up the stairs where the concierge stands ready to help guests or members of The Alchemists. The concierge looks up from her task when I approach the desk and lean against it.

"Celeste," I greet her pulling the sleeve of my duster exposing my right wrist to her. Her eyes rest on the tattoo that identifies all Alchemists: two lightning bolts crossing in an 'x'. "They come first."

"They come first," Celeste nods picking up the phone and dialing number two. "He's here. Yes ma'am." She hangs up and jerks her head towards her right. "She's expecting you."

I grunt my thanks and take the next set of stairs two at a time. I follow a long corridor lined by many doors with walls the color of dark red and silver patterns. I stand in front of a door simply marked _S. Sage_ , _Director_ on a golden plaque with fancy black letters. I knock twice alerting her of my presence before allowing myself in. Sydney sits behind her desk typing away in her computer with the phone pressed against her ear. She spares me a glance and motions to the chair across her desk with one finger then goes back to typing and listening to whoever is on the other side of the line. I lower myself onto the velvet, crimson chair. As expected, the walls in her office are painted a lighter red as well as the carpet. I'll never understand The Alchemists fascination with blood. They claim humans come first, but their fanatic love for their precious blood rivals that of vampires. We're not so different from them, but I rather not tell them that. They haven't listened to reason for a long time. I turn my attention to Sydney who is focused on her screen every once in a while humming in response but not saying much. Her dark blonde mane is tied tightly and professionally in a ponytail, and she wears a black suit jacket with a white silk shirt under. Her brown eyes finally turn away from the screen, and she looks at me.

"Yes, sir," she speaks softly but with enough authority, and just like that I know Jared is on the other side. "I understand. He's here right now. I will inform you as soon as possible. Yes, sir."

With a sigh, she hangs up the phone and leans back in her chair staring up at the ceiling. Sydney is the middle child of Jared Sage and his second in command. Jared is a nonsense type of man. He's firm and doesn't believe in mistakes. I can only imagine the magnitude of the anger he unleashed upon Sydney. Despite being only twenty, Sydney has displayed more than enough ability to lead The Alchemists in Budapest, second largest group with the Russian being the first. She's kind but tough when needed. I would follow her orders over Jared's any day. Once more, I curse Tamara and Denis. They didn't almost just thwart my plans, but they're responsible for the way Sydney's shoulders sag as if she carries a heavy burden of her own. I remain silent and allow her to compose herself before beginning the tale of what happened last night. At least the version I decide to give her.

"We're waiting for Eddie," Sydney sits up straight in her chair. "He's making sure the bodies make their way home with the right paperwork."

"What's the story?" I interlace my fingers. "Not that I care."

"Of course you don't," Sydney snorts in disbelief. "Car accident. Denis was driving drunk and crashed against a tree on the countryside. Instant death for both with no other casualties."

"Good," I shrug. I hate taking lives, so in a way, I do care about the story, the lie we will feed their families. I don't know what's better lying and making it sound like Denis and Tamara were irresponsible party people, or greedy shitty people trying to make quick money killing Rose, who can't help what she is.

"Relax." Sydney says softly. "No one blames you. Jared actually told me to congratulate you for disposing of them."

"I take no pride in taking lives," I mutter and unclench my fists slowly.

"I know," she nods. "It comes with the shitty job."

"Since when does Jared approve of anything I do?" I ask instead.

Sydney shrugs. "It was bound to happen I suppose. Tonight, you have proven your loyalty to The Alchemists."

I grunt as response. Because of blurred objectives, I have been tested for the past six years. Tested by Jared and the entire organization. I've been ostracized from the beginning and endured whispers behind my back because of my bloodline. It's why I see myself in Rose. Both of us hated for what we have no control over. We didn't choose our fate. We didn't choose what the world decided to turn us into. But I can't get overly attached to her. My mission is not complete yet not until I turn her over to the right people. Behind me, the door opens and Eddie rushes inside taking a seat next to mine. He nods in my direction and waits for our meeting to begin.

"Tell me what happened," Sydney leans back in her chair once more and looks directly into my eyes. So I tell her a lie. I lie to her because we all have roles to play and our own motives. Even though I like Sydney and hate lying to her, I do what I must for those I love.

* * *

Rose

I zip the black sweater over the black tank top. As expected, everything is black: black jeans, black combat boots. The clothes Dimitri provided do fit perfectly though, and I wonder just how much he knows about me. As I stand in the bathroom inspecting my reflection, because I have a reflection despite the myths, I cannot help wonder how long he has searched for me and how he gathered so much information about me. Those who knew me are dead or missing. I shake my head knowing there is no need to fill my head with more questions. I do not know if vampires can go mad, but I am not about to test that theory. Instead, I grab his hairbrush from the sink and work on my tangled mess. My hair flows down to my waist now the last time I cut it was several years ago. I do not mind the length only how tangled it gets often due to always being on the run.

With the sun rising, my skin tingles more like an unscratchable itch is the best I can think of to describe the feeling even though I have not felt an itch in so long. So many feelings have faded while others have become stronger like my hunger. One of the reasons the hunters were able to catch me. In my mind, I replay the events recalling Dimitri coming to my rescue. Even through my blurry vision, Dimitri looked very much like a God, as Tamara called him, with his hair wildly around him, the light behind him as he strode purposefully towards my assailants gun raised ready for anything. Though I know I should not, I cannot help compare Dimitri to… Luka. Luka was bookish, though I can tell Dimitri enjoys reading as well, tall but not muscled like Dimitri. Their hair is similarly long though Luka's was unusually long for a man during our time period. Their eyes have an uncanny resemblance maybe that is why I feel I have met Dimitri before. But Luka and Dimitri are two very different people from different times. Luka was expressive while Dimitri hides his emotions. Luka was not a fighter while Dimitri seems seasoned in battle judging by the calloused hands and scars on his arms when he took off his coat. But that is all I know of the two of them. I never knew more of Luka whether he had family. I always saw him writing, and he sent many letters, but I never knew to whom. My knowledge in Dimitri is even more limited which is why I must take advantage of his absence and attempt to find out as much as possible about him.

I start in his bedroom opening and closing drawers in his nightstand. I find a journal with a lock but never find a key though that is to be expected. Dimitri does not strike me as the foolish type to leave his secrets lying around. I put the journal back where I found it. I look under the mattress and under pillows, but I find nothing. I return to the closet where I search the pockets of his pants and coats. I stop for a few minutes taking in his lingering scent in the confining closet of leather, berries, and sweat. It is not an unpleasant smell; it is what makes him, well, him. I am sure now, if he were to get lost in a crowd, I could pick him out by his smell. The boxes contain nothing but more clothing and dusty encyclopedias. I step out of the closet and move out to the living room where I scan the many books. Many of them are in Russian, and I struggle to translate, others are in foreign languages I have not learned. The ones I do understand are novels about cowboys.

My search through the kitchen turns up nothing as I expected. Just like his emotions, Dimitri keeps his secrets well hidden not even pictures hinting at a family or a lover. The only place I could find answers are in the journal he keeps next to his bed, but I cannot open it without alerting Dimitri I have been searching his home. Even though I am desperate to find answers, I cannot bring myself to invade his private thoughts. So I am left with no answers, and I should have known it would not be easy. I sit on the couch and stare at the walls as I wait for Dimitri to return. Eventually, I grow bored and pour another bag of blood onto a glass to minimize my mess now that I have cleaned up. I look through the books once more and pick out a small book in Russian and try to distract myself by practicing what I have learned. As I sit drinking my glass of blood reading a book in Russian in a stranger's home, I cannot help chuckle feeling amused. I have not felt that emotion in so long. I feel happy, which I have not felt in longer.

I frown wondering when I started feeling real emotions again. No. These emotions are not real. They are ghosts of what I used to be able to feel. The fact that I can still feel them after so long is a good sign. I have not completely lost myself yet. There is hope. Maybe my soul is still within reach. Maybe Dimitri can help me decipher the riddle the flames and the shadow left me with centuries ago. First, I have to determine if I can trust him or not. As if conjuring him with my mind, the door opens revealing Dimitri carrying a brown bag in one arm. I stand up and set the book down as he spares me one glance before heading to the kitchen.

"I see you have cleaned up," he calls out from the kitchen, and I hear him moving around opening and closing cupboards. "Viktoria's clothes fit well."

"Viktoria?" I frown wondering if someone else lives here. Maybe he does have a lover after all. I decide I do not like him spending time with anyone. For my safety. Right? I cannot have him discussing who I am with anyone else. It is already enough he met with these Alchemists and spoke of me with them.

"My sister," he comes out of the kitchen holding a glass of water. He leans against the door frame as he looks me over. "She is your age."

I scoff. "I find that hard to believe." I bite my lower lip. This is my chance. "I am centuries old. Your sister cannot be that old."

"You know what I meant," a smile plays on his lips as he sets the empty glass down on the counter behind him.

"What is she like?" I ask quietly almost afraid of crossing a line with him and risk his smile fading away. It is the first real smile I have seen, and I cannot help appreciate how handsome he looks. When he is serious and concentrated, he looks like a God of war. With his smile, he looks handsome and almost free. These damn lines are becoming less clear the more time I spend around him. I forget he could be an enemy.

He shakes his head, his smile long gone as he shrugs his duster, I learned from flipping through his books, off. "We can talk after I get some rest. You might not need it, but I do. It's the only way I can keep you safe."

"I can keep myself safe, thank you," I narrow my eyes on him. Even though I wish to see him smile again, I am more upset he continues to dodge my questions. If I must tie him to the bed, I shall.

"That's not what I saw when I rescued you from Tamara and Denis," he crosses his arms. "Which you haven't thanked me for."

"Thank you," I blurt out and bow my head to him with a sense of déjà vu.

"You're welcome," he says curtly making his way for his room. "We'll talk later. I need sleep."

"I demand answers!" In a flash, I stand behind him as he opens the door to his bedroom and follow him inside. "You said you would answer my questions."

"And I will," he sighs turning around to face me. "We have plenty of time to talk or at least you do. Waiting a few hours will be nothing compared to…"

"Compared to what?" I step back and glare at him. "Compared to three hundred and fifty five years I have carried on? You are correct, Dimitri. I have all the time in the world because of…" I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I find breathing deeply helps my anger, which I cannot allow to overcome me. It could be death of him. "Never mind. I will be on my way now. Thank you for saving me and… Farewell."

"Wait," he calls out after a quiet curse in his language. Curses were the first words in Russian I learned. I was never allowed to use such filthy words as they were not fit for a future queen. Now that I am just Rose, I can speak however I desire. "Don't make me chase you because I will find you, and I will drag you back here. You have to learn to be patient."

"I have the patience of a saint," I cross my arms keeping my back to him. I close my eyes and quickly determine my next move. Whether I like it or not, Dimitri is the closest thing to an ally I have at the moment. Someone from my past life must have sent him. He cannot know everything about me without help from Baba or Lissa. Hopeful that my loved ones are alive and searching for me, I throw my hands up in defeat. "Very well. I understand as a human, you have limitations. You may rest for a few hours, but afterwards you will tell me everything."

I do not wait for an answer though I hear a grunt and a 'thank you' laced with sarcasm. Pouting, I return to the couch and drink the rest of the blood remaining in my glass. I decide to pick up the book once more to distract my fury at being denied answers a little longer. Soon enough, I am emerged in the book. The questions linger in the back of my mind regarding Dimitri and his motives, but the book goes into detail about the witches in Russia. Different from Istanbul and many other countries I spent years passing through, Russia persecuted men more than they did females for some unfathomable reason. While punishments were just as brutal as burning alive and even more ghastly, there was more tolerance on the practice of witchcraft or magic. As long as no humans were harmed or the Devil himself was not conjured, witches could practice freely. In fact, many believed everyone was capable of magic with some people more attuned to the craft than others. Before I realize it, I reach the end of the book which contains a list of known Russian families that practiced magic. My second glass of blood slips from my hand hitting the floor and shattering into thousand shards; the crimson liquid spills all over the place and splatters the furniture and walls.

"Belikov," I whisper the familiar name. I hear Dimitri's rapid footsteps rushing to my side. I slam the book shut and turn to face him. He wears black sweat pants and a white tank top clinging to his muscled physique. His hair is wild and sticks in every direction. Despite being awakened abruptly, Dimitri looks alert and ready to face any threat with his gun tightly in his grip and his index finger tense on the trigger. "My apologies. I dropped the glass."

He does not relax right away his eyes scanning the darkened room searching for the threat. Satisfied there is no threat, Dimitri lowers the gun and advances towards me by the couch picking up broken glass. He sets the gun down on the coffee table and comes to my aid a few moments later with paper towels and a trash bag. We work in silence cleaning the mess I made. My mind is not focused on the meaningless task. I feel his body close to mine warm from lying under the covers of his bed. The smell of his shampoo fills my nostrils with the scent of wild berries. While I used his products during my shower, I admit the scent is better on him. But above his closeness and warmth, I cannot shake the name Belikov. Could they be related to Luka? There must be other families with that name. I must stop seeing ghosts where there are none, but these ghosts will not leave me alone. They are in his eyes, in his hair, and in his voice.

As he picks up another shard of glass, my eyes linger on his strong, thick arms, and I recall as he carried me through the streets gently. Then I catch a glimpse of something strange, something I have never seen before. Something I should have noticed the first time he took off his coat.

"What is that?" Without permission, I touch the strange mark on his wrist the color of silver with my finger. A strong pain courses through my body and darkness dances in my vision.

"Roza!" Is the last I hear before I pass out for the first time in three centuries.

* * *

 **AN: First, I must apologize for not communicating the title change on the previous chapter. I've had some PM or review commenting on the change. Second, I hope you don't mind the change in point of view. I originally planned on writing this story solely in Rose's POV. Having said that, I come to the third thing I want to discuss. Somehow, I'm losing motivation on this story. I'm feeling meh. I fear my writing will reflect that, and I have considered taking a break from writing, but I did that with Beauty and the Beast, and I think that hurt me more than it helped. I'm hoping by allowing Dimitri to have a voice, I will keep things interesting enough not just for me but for my readers as well. I haven't decided what I'll do, but I can assure you, I will let you know. I won't disappear this time out of the blue. Thanks for reading, and I'm sorry for any confusion over the title change. Until next time. Hopefully.**


	10. Author's Note

Hello dear readers,

I write to you with a heavy heart filled with sadness and disappointment. As I previously stated, I have been feeling unsatisfied with the story. After much thought, I must discontinue Breath of Life. My heart is not in it any more. In fact, my heart and mind are not in my writing at all. To be honest, I felt my motivation slipping towards the end of Bedroom Hymns. I thought that was due to Breath of Life rattling around in my head demanding to be written. I should have waited to publish Breath of Life, I should have taken a break after Bedroom Hymns, I should have... I should have done a lot of things, but I didn't. Which is why I'm very disappointed in myself for giving up, for publishing a story that may not be completed and for wasting your time reading. I apologize from the bottom of my heart; I never intended to get all of you invested only to be left hanging like this. I do hope that a break in writing anything altogether will help me clear my mind and bring back my motivation. I hope to one day return to this story and to this site. As of right now, I am heartbroken I am unable to write anything because this site, my works, have always given me a way to express myself and deal with my depression and anxiety. I'm frightened without this I won't be able to pull through, but I can't force myself to write either because I've always wanted to be as good as Richelle Mead. I've always wanted to share only the best of me with you all. I only hope you understand and don't crucify me though I will accept insults and getting dragged through the mud. I deserve your anger I just hope if I do return one day, you will give me another chance. As always, I'm very grateful for your kind words. I'm grateful you gave me a chance in Beauty and the Beast despite its rough start, despite its flaws, and despite how long it took to complete. I'll always love B&B for the confidence it gave me that I could be a good writer. I'll always love you all for giving me and my works so much love and kindness. I will carry your love with me as I try to pull out of this nasty black hole I somehow have found myself in. Thank you so much and again I am deeply sorry to be discontinuing Breath of Life. I will leave the story posted as a promise to myself to one day return to it with a clear mind and a better version of it and myself. Until next time...

Love,

littlerichellemead


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